


Fitting In

by PigeonPie4



Category: Brothers Conflict
Genre: BroCon, F/M, Gen, Romance, original character x Kaname Asahina
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-23 11:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 26,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23044045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PigeonPie4/pseuds/PigeonPie4
Summary: Hinata Rintarou's biological daughter contacts him from the united stated and is invited to live with the Asahina clan. Things are difficult as she learns to deal with past issues as well as new problems that arise in the form of her new younger brother Fuuto Asahina.
Relationships: Asahina Kaname/Original Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	1. You could have told me there were THIRTEEN

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I literally wrote this first chapter in one sitting (scary, right?). Hope you enjoy it; it was a blast to write.

I stifled a yawn as I made my way down the streets of Japan. It was almost a dream come true- being here that is. Getting to live here, immersed in the culture. I smiled before it turned itself into an anxious frown when I remembered why.

Rintarou…

I’d grown up as a foster kid in America with a large family. My mom was a single mother and gave me up at birth before overdosing on heroin. My foster parents, who I considered my real family, raised me from a newborn. They hadn’t said anything until I turned eighteen a few months ago, but now I knew. I had contacted my birthfather, Rintarou Hinata, not long after. The phone conversation was awkward and long. I learned that he had been in the states for work when he met my birthmother. They’d gotten drunk and had a one-night stand before he left. She had never contacted him after that and he didn’t know I existed. Rintarou offered to let me live with him in Japan, an offer I almost refused, but mom and dad encouraged me to go. I’d packed up all my belongings and said my goodbyes, eager to start a new chapter in my life. Especially after everything I’d been through this past year…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. I didn’t like to think about the past few years. I was in Japan now, and I would start over. As much as I was going to miss my family, I knew this was a good change. I’d always wanted to live in Japan, and now was my chance. My spoken Japanese was good, but my reading and writing was sub-par. 

Pulling my suitcase along behind me, I turned down the street that would lead me to my new home. Rintarou and his wife, Miwa, wouldn’t be able to see me for almost a month due to work, but they offered to let me stay in their home with their other children. He hadn’t specified how many, but I know he had a daughter and Miwa had several boys.

“It can’t be bigger than my family,” I laughed to myself and thought of my six siblings.

It was early Sunday morning and already pretty warm. I found myself tugging on the collar of my black crew-neck shirt. My binder itched underneath and I rolled my shoulders to alleviate the discomfort. I wondered if Rintarou would be disappointed about that. There were so many things I was worried about. Meeting him, meeting Miwa, meeting his daughter, meeting his sons…

I paused in front of an enormous building and looked at the paper in my hand. The addresses matched and I took a deep breath. Finding the door proved easy enough, and the buzzer was nearby. I bit my lip, trying to decipher the characters before pulling up google translate.

Asahina Residence.

I furrowed my brow. I thought he said his last name was Hinata. Maybe they lived on the lower levels… The other names were just as unfamiliar, so I decided to call Rintarou. He answered after a few rings, voice groggy with sleep. I apologized profusely before explaining my dilemma. 

“Oh,” he laughed, “Asahina is Miwa’s last name. You’re at the right place. Just ring and ask for Ukyo.”

“Thanks, Rintarou-san,” I breathed.

“No problem kiddo. But call me dad.”

I narrowed my eyes and hummed into the phone before saying goodbye. I wasn’t quite ready for that yet. Turning back to the task at hand, I rang the buzzer and waited. 

“Hello?” a voice came through.

“Ah, uh, hello. I’m Ai Kingston. I’m looking for Ukyo Asahina?”

“That’s me. Just a moment, I’ll let you in.”

“Thank you,” I stepped back and fiddled with my sleeve.

It wasn’t long before the door opened and a tall, blond, bespectacled male stepped out. He looked around before his eyes settled on me in confusion.

“Kingston-?”

“Yeah, that’s me. Are you Ukyo-san?”

“Yes, yes…” he shifted his weight uncomfortably.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

“No, please; follow me.” He led me to an elevator and pressed the up button. “I’m sorry if I seem rude, but I was under the impression that Rintarou-san had a daughter coming to stay with us.”

I laughed, feeling a little better.

“He does have a daughter. Sorry if I threw you off with the way I look.”

Ukyo paled, then reddened. “My apologies, I did not mean~”

I waved my hand dismissively. “It’s fine.”

In all actuality it would have been stranger had he assumed I was a girl. My hair was peacock blue, shaved into an undercut with the longer part on top pulled back into a ponytail, white bangs brushed off to one side of my face. The multiple piercings I sported in each ear did nothing to help my feminine side, and I had thick brows crowning my eyes. Add the binder under my masculine clothing and I looked like a teenaged American boy. 

The elevator dinged and he led me down a hallway. There were several doors on each side. He opened one on the left and I went in. It was bigger than my old room, but that wasn’t saying much since my old room was the size of a walk-in closet. 

“There’s a map of the floors on your nightstand in case you need help getting around. I’m just finishing up breakfast, so as soon as you’re ready feel free to come down and join us.”

“Thank you, Ukyo-san,” I bowed and offered a smile.

He returned the gesture and closed the door. I let the smile fall from my face as I observed the room. I didn’t have really anything brought from America. Basically, the clothes in my suitcase and the art supplies I had shipped. Thankfully the boxes were untouched and I began unloading them onto the desk that had been provided. It wasn’t as nice as my one back home that took up almost half of my little room. This one was small and white, with a hutch. I could barely fit my supplies and my drawing tablet on it. I threw my clothes into the dresser and shoved my suitcase in the closet before glancing over the papers on my nightstand. I found the kitchen after shuffling through them and memorized the way down.

“There sure are a lot of bedrooms…” I mused. “I wonder if they’re all being used.”

The walk to the elevator was uneventful, but when it opened, I smelt food cooking and started salivating. I peered into the kitchen to see Ukyo’s back to me. He seemed to be wearing a pale green apron. I sidled up behind him.

“Hey.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, placing a hand over his heart.

“Ai-chan,” he gasped, “You surprised me.”

Really now? Couldn’t tell in the slightest… I thought.

“Sorry,” I smiled apologetically. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I actually just finished, but thank you. I’m just going to bring the food to the table. The others should be down soon.”

I nod and head to the common area. Plopping down on the couch, I turned to lean over the back and look out the window. As Ukyo set the plates on the table, I heard voices coming from upstairs. Risking a glance, I see several heads bobbing down the stairs.

“You’re all up at the same time?” Ukyo raised his brows.

“I woke them up since you said we were expecting someone,” a young voice said.

I matched it to the pink-haired youngster at the front of the group.

“Kaname-nii said he’s be down soon. He’s waking up Ema-ne.”

The honorifics will be the death of me, I thought blanching. I was never going to remember all of those ni’s and ne’s. 

“So, is she here yet?” a white-haired male asked.

“Yes~” Ukyo started.

“Ema-chan!” the young boy cheered as a face appeared at the top of the stairs with a tall blonde.

I slid down off the couch onto the floor where I couldn’t be seen.

Why are there so many fucking people here?! I thought, how many kids does Miwa have anyway?

I peeked over the edge of the couch and counted.

The pink-haired child: one. Ukyo: two. The white-haired guy: three. A guy with black hair who looked strikingly like the white-haired guy: four. A tall, quiet man with soft eyes: five. The blond next to Rintarou’s daughter Ema: six. 

Just when I thought I was done counting, there came a thundering of footsteps and a redhead appeared.

Seven.

“Where are Louis, Subaru, and Iori?”

“They’re still in bed; should I get them up?” Ema offered.

“Please, if you don’t mind,” Ukyo sighed, “Best to have everyone here at once.

Three fucking more?

I slid back down and took a deep breath. This had to be some kind of joke. Maybe they were just roommates? Yeah, probably… not. Why didn’t Rintarou tell me there were so many?

I could hear the scraping of chairs as everyone sat down.

“Ai-chan,” Ukyo called, “Come sit with us.”

Fuck off, I thought, but stood anyway and tried to ignore the eyes on me as I slipped into a chair by Ukyo.

Three more heads joined the table; a white-blond, a dark-gray, and a silver. I kept my eyes on my plate until Ukyo spoke.

“Everyone, this is Rintarou-san’s daughter, Ai Kingston.”

There was a pregnant pause before the white-haired one spoke.

“Daughter? You sure that’s not a dude?”

“Tsubaki!” Ukyo scolded.

“It’s fine,” I laughed nervously. “Nice to meet you all.”

“Nice to meet you as well,” the man with the kind eyes said. “I’m the first son, Masaomi.”

I nodded and smiled, trying not to stare too long at anyone.

“I’m Wateru!” the pink-haired child offered, “I’m the youngest.”

“A pleasure,” I grinned, enjoying his smile and the ease it brought me. Kids were so much easier than adults.

“That’s Ema-ne,” he pointed to the girl.

I figured.

“Hello,” she mumbled, offering a smile. 

“You already know me,” Ukyo said, “I’m the second child.”

“And I’m the third son, Kaname,” the blond who I’d seen with Ema earlier leaned in my direction.

“I’m Azusa,” the black-haired male from the first group volunteered, “And this jerk,” he indicated the white-haired boy from earlier, “Is Tsubaki, my identical twin. We’re missing Natsume, our other brother who shared the womb with us.”

“So you guys are triplets?” I asked.

“Yeah, but he’s fraternal,” Tsubaki said.

Great, adding another guy. How many is that? Ten? Eleven?

“I’m Louis,” said the white-blond softly, “I’m the eighth son.”

“Louis is a wonderful hairdresser,” Ema interjected.

“That’s cool,” I folded my hands tightly in my lap.

“The quiet one is Subaru,” Tsubaki told me, pointing to the dark gray-haired boy sitting at the end of the table, not making eye contact with anyone. 

“He’s really good at basketball,” Wateru told me.

“I’m Iori,” said the silver-haired boy, “The tenth son.”

“Yuusuke,” was the grunt I got from the redhead shoveling food in his mouth.

“Wow, nice to meet all of you,” I smiled, my cheeks hurting.

“Oh, I’m afraid that’s not all of us,” Masaomi laughed, “Hikaru isn’t home and Fuuto is on tour until Friday.”

Two more? That makes… let’s see; ten plus Natsume, and two more makes thirteen… holy fucking cheese balls. I took a deep breath.

There was silence all around the table while I searched for something to say. 

“…sooooo…” I worried my lip and looked down. Switching to English I began to mutter. “Fucking stupid birthfather not fucking telling me his wife had thir-fucking-teen sons.”

Everyone looked puzzled while I went on my little rant. I picked up my fork and began poking at breakfast.

“Looks delicious,” I said in Japanese.

“I’m glad,” Ukyo sounded relieved.

“Hey,” Yuusuke piped up, “How old are you?”

I blinked as I met his eyes before dropping them back to my plate. “Eighteen and a half.”

“You and Iori are the same age then,” Masaomi mused.

I took a bite of food, not really feeling hungry despite not eating for the past several hours. Jet lag was catching up with me and it had been a long night.

“Are you going to go to college?” Ukyo asked.

College. That dreaded word. I set my lips firmly in a line. “No, I’m not looking at a college right now.”

“Oh, are you still in high-school?” Masaomi asked.

“No,” I pushed food around, “I graduated when I was sixteen.” 

Why the fuck would you tell them that? Now it sounds like you’re bragging!

They all looked surprised.

“It seems we have a little genius on our hands,” Kaname(?) said, smirking.

I felt nervous and began to bounce my leg.

“Not really. Just did school a lot.”

“Not many people graduate that early though,” Ukyo said, “That’s impressive.”

“Uh… yeah. Excuse me,” I bowed and took my dishes to the kitchen before making a speedy exit.

By the time I unlocked my bedroom door and re-locked it behind me, I was trembling. This was too much stimulation for my first day here. I went to the window and opened it to let in some fresh air. Hopefully no one would be mad about that. I flopped on my bed and pulled out my phone. Quickly sending a text back home, I switched to playing Tetris and began to calm down. I grew bored of the game soon enough and put the phone on my nightstand… only to grab it again and begin looking for jobs in the area. There was no way I could stay here and not have a job. I needed money to pay rent and for eventually getting a car and to buy things. Besides, I didn’t want to be cooped up inside all the time.  
It was about noon when I decided to go for a walk. I grabbed my phone, wallet, and keys and headed out. I managed to avoid everyone and get out of the complex without an issue. I was halfway to the corner store when my phone began to vibrate. 

Rintarou.

I answered it. “Hello?”

“Hey, kiddo. How was meeting everyone?”

I debated on whether or not I should bring up the fact that he failed to mention that Miwa had thirteen sons, but decided not to.

“It was good. I’m just taking a walk and getting familiar with everything.”

“That’s a good idea. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask me or the boys.”

“Okay.”

There was a pause.

“I’m glad Ema is going to have a sister. It will be good for her. She needed some girls in her life.”

I pursed my lips. Oh, so you’re just glad that she has a sister? What about me, huh?

“Yeah, I’m glad too.”

“Well, I’ve got to go. Stay safe.”

“I will. Thanks.”

I hung up and took a deep breath. I had a feeling my anger issues might get in the way of Rintarou and I’s relationship. It’s not that I’m not glad to know my birthfather… it’s just that hearing he adopted a girl who is very obviously the light of his life makes it hard to feel like he wants me. I was the one who reached out after all. Maybe he didn’t really want me here and is just acting nice. All my feelings were mixed up, like usual. I growled and kicked at a rock on the sidewalk.

I tried to remember what my therapist said to me.

It’s okay to be angry, just don’t let the anger overtake your life.

I breathed deeply and looked up. I wanted to be here, right? It’s what I’ve always wanted; to live in Japan. But this was not what I expected. Thirteen brothers, a sister, and two parents I haven’t even met before. Not to mention Miwa isn’t even my mom. I hadn’t spoken to her yet. 

I entered the convenience store and browsed the isles. Feeling the intense gnawing inside my gut, I loaded up on snacks and went to the checkout before guiltily putting back the large bag of chips and grabbing yogurt. Walking back was tedious what with having to carry the bags, but I got back without an issue. It was an act of god that I managed to get back to my room without seeing any of the boys. I flopped on my bed and opened a package of fruit snacks. 

About an hour later there was a knock on my door. I rolled off the bed and shuffled over. Cracking it open, at first, I didn’t see anything. But looking down I found a head of cotton-candy pink hair.

“Wateru?” 

“Nee-chan!” He smiled.

“Hey… wanna come in?” I opened the door wider.

“If that’s okay with you,” he bobbed by.

I shut the door behind him and watched him sit cross-legged on my bed. I followed suit.

“Hungry?” I asked, offering him a package of fruit snacks.

He took it gleefully and popped them into his mouth one by one.

“So, what can I do for you?” I asked.

“I just wanted to see if you wanted to play.”

“Sure. What do you want to do?” I stretched.

Wateru is going to be the easiest to get along with, I thought.

“I have a bunch of stuffed animals in my room we can play with. Wanna see?”

“Sure,” I laughed and followed him out, making sure to lock the door behind me. I was paranoid someone would start going through my stuff. 

Wateru’s room was full of toys and stuffed animals and painted a pastel pink like his hair. He introduced me to each of his animals and we spent the afternoon building a fort in his room for them. He asked lots of questions which I answered to the best of my ability. I was surprised when I heard a knock on the door. It opened to reveal Masaomi. I was in the middle of pretending to be the queen of the fort and had a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and one draped over the top of my head.

“Oh, hello Ai-chan,” he smiled, his eyes closing.

“Hey Masaomi. What’s up?” I pulled the blanket off my head.

“I was just letting Wateru know it’s dinner time. Care to join us?”

“Sure,” I stood, feeling my stomach rumble. “Come on Wateru.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. The dinner table was almost as full as breakfast, but Tsubaki and Azusa were sitting on the couch going over papers. Ukyo had already prepped the food and was dishing it out when we sat down. Ema was puttering around the kitchen with him. I felt a little guilty, as if I should have been helping. 

“Good evening Ai-chan,” Ema smiled softly at me.

“Good evening,” I replied, shifting in my seat.

“Subaru-nii!” Wateru tugged on his brother’s shirt, “Guess what!”

Subaru looked down at him and mumbled.

“Ai-nee has fourteen earrings! That’s a lot, isn’t it?”

I looked away from the table, pretending like I didn’t hear Wateru gushing about my piercings. I mean, he’d asked earlier, but I didn’t expect him to announce it to the world. Ukyo looked a little unsettled, while Masaomi seemed surprised. Ema had her hands over her mouth. I could tell the twins were listing from their seat on the couch.

“Fourteen?” Ema gasped, “Didn’t that hurt?”

“Not really,” I shrugged, “Not as bad as~” I caught myself before I blurted out what I was going to say and hummed. “Uh, not as bad as you’d think.”

“Can I get my ears pierced like Nee-chan?” Wateru begged Masaomi.

“I think you should wait until you’re a little older,” Masaomi replied.

“I can’t imagine getting my ears pierced,” Ema sighed, “It would hurt so bad.”

I snorted, but covered it with a cough. I wondered if I should tell them I was thinking about getting a belly-button piercing, but decided not to. I didn’t need them kicking me out. Japan was a little different with their customs on body modification, I thought as I tugged on my sleeves self-consciously. 

Dinner was delicious and I told Ukyo and Ema so. They both said the other one cooked it and I rolled my eyes. They couldn’t take a compliment to save their lives. Tsubaki and Azusa abandoned their papers to join us for dinner. I noticed Yuusuke kept peering over at Ema. Suddenly something caught my eye.

“Hey…” I said slowly, “Don’t freak out Ema, but there’s something under your chair.”

She tensed, then looked down. For a moment I was afraid she’d scream and run, but she suddenly started laughing.

“Oh, that’s just Juli. He’s my pet squirrel.”

“Pet… squirrel. Right, okay,” I nodded and went back to my food. “That’s cool.”

“It can be kind of vicious, so be careful,” Kaname told me.

“He’s just overprotective,” Ema protested.

“So, don’t bother you and we’re good, right?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” Ema looked back down at Juli.

I discreetly slipped some food off my plate and held it under the table. It was several minutes before I felt a small paw on my hand and felt the food slip from my grasp. 

Score. He at least tolerates me.


	2. Fuuto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes Fuuto! (I hate him with a passion) >:(

I sat up in bed, groaning. It had been five days since I’d moved in with the Asahina clan. In those five days I’d finally gotten the names straight, hung out with Ema, gotten put on the chore list by Ukyo after asking to help, and helped Yuusuke and Ema with English homework. I’d also gotten an interview at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant. I was waiting for a call back from them to see if I’d gotten the job. I didn’t talk much with the brothers outside of meals since most of them were busy with their lives, but I did get to know them better. Iori took care of the flowers on the property, Tsubaki and Azusa were voice-actors, and Kaname was a monk. I’d nearly died of laughter when he told me. I couldn’t believe he was religious at all, especially with the way he flirted with females. 

I looked at the time.

Crap, I slept through breakfast.

Sighing, I stood and pulled out clothes for the day. As warm as it was, I had yet to wear anything besides pants and long sleeves. Tattoos were frowned upon in Japan, I’d learned a while ago, and I wasn’t sure how my new family would take it seeing as I had quite a few. I’d started getting them right after my eighteenth birthday. I had one on my thigh, and several geometrical lines on my torso and legs. I was getting the final lines on my shoulders and collarbone done soon. I’d scoped out a well-reviewed tattoo parlor in the area and scheduled an appointment for next week.

I exited my room to find Kaname in the hallway. His back was to me and he was fiddling with his doorknob. I snuck up behind him.

“Boo!” I shouted.

He jumped back, cursing.

“Wow, and I thought you were a monk,” I said in fake seriousness.

He gave a little laugh and scratched his neck. “I… I seem to have locked my keys in my room.”

I stared at him for a moment before breaking out into a smile. He was probably the brother I was closest with next to Ukyo and Wateru. I was comfortable around Kaname, even though he was kind of dramatic. 

“You need some help?”

“Yes, but I don’t think you have another key, do you?” he asked.

“I’ve got something better,” I disappeared into my room and came back with some black metal sticks.

“What are those?” Kaname asked, leaning down to my level where I stuck one of the pins into the lock.

“They’re lock picks. I got them for my fifteenth birthday. Pretty cool, huh?” I said as I used the rake pick to pop pins into place. 

“I’m not sure how I feel about you knowing these sorts of things,” Kaname crossed his arms, “What’s to stop you from just going into someone’s room and~”

“Done,” I said as the door popped open. “You’re welcome. And no, I don’t just go around picking people’s locks for the fun of it. I have some morals, unlike you.” I flicked his forehead.

His eyes seemed to darken for a moment before he grabbed my wrist.

“What the fuck~” I started.

“You need to be punished for scaring me earlier.”

I gave him my best “Are you kidding me?” look and crossed my arms.

“What’s the punishment? I’m just gonna say I have to draw the line at anything kinky.”

Kaname nearly choked, coughing into his hand. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

I liked Kaname because I could say whatever I wanted to around him and he didn’t judge me. Seeing him get suddenly flustered was funny and endearing.

“Maybe don’t phrase it like that then,” I said.

“I just meant that you owe me for earlier.”

“But I got your door open for you,” I complained. “What do you want?”

“I want you to take this off,” he snapped the strap of my binder.

“Hold the fuck up,” I backed up, “First off, please don’t do that; it hurts. Second; how did you know I was wearing one?”

Kaname smiled. “I’m not as dense as you think.”

“I never said you were dense.”

I rubbed my shoulder. I hadn’t taken my binder off since I’d been here. I mean, yes, I’d taken it off at night and stuff, but it made me feel safe. Safe around all these boys. They might have been my brothers, but I still had issues around guys. 

“Why do you want me to take it off?” I asked.

“Isn’t it uncomfortable?” Kaname said. “And I’m sure you’re beautiful without it.”

“Okay, way to sound like a creep,” I glowered at him.

“Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s just… you’re a girl. Why do you wear that?”

I hugged myself. “I don’t know. I like the way I look and... I feel safer when I have it on.”

“You don’t feel safe?” Kaname quirked his brow.

“I… I don’t know,” I said helplessly. “Uh, I’m gonna head downstairs and get something to eat.”

“O…kay,” he said, watching me go.

I felt my stomach do flips as I rode the elevator down. Everyone was at work or school except Kaname and I, it seemed. I opened the fridge and pulled out a yogurt. Sauntering over to the couch, I nearly screamed when I saw someone lying there. One arm was thrown across his stomach, the other was lying above his head. His plump lips were parted as he breathed softly.

“Who the hell are you?” I muttered in English.

The boy’s eyes snapped open and he sat up.

“Who are you?” he demanded. His eyes drifted down to the yogurt in my hands. “And why are you eating our food?”

I looked him up and down.

“You look too young to be Natsume or Hikaru, so I guess you’re Fuuto, right? They said you’d be back Friday.”

“Who. Are. You?” Fuuto seethed, standing up. “You shouldn’t be here! This is a private residence!”

“Yeah, I know. I’m Ai Kingston. Rintarou’s daughter.”

Fuuto blinked. “You’re not a girl.”

Ouch.

“Oh, sorry,” I replied sarcastically, “Let me just put on a pink dress and dance around and cook and clean all day.”

“There’s no way you’re a girl,” he scoffed, “You don’t have any boobs, and you have way too many piercings.”

I was about to say something uncouth when his eyes narrowed and he took a step towards me.

“But I suppose there is one way to find out…” he reached a hand to the hem of my shirt.

My mind began to freeze while my heart rate increased. I didn’t like where this was going. I couldn’t tell if Fuuto was joking or not, and none of the other boys had done or said anything so forward before, no matter how much they teased Ema and I.

I swallowed and stepped away. “Very funny.”

“You think I’m joking?” he closed the distance between us, his hand pulling at my waistband.

As soon as his fingertips brushed my stomach I reacted. I slapped him hard across the face.

He seemed stunned for a moment before turning angry.

“You’re nothing like Ema,” he snarled, “She knows how to behave.”

Oh god, does he do this to Ema too?

I scramble away, pushing him back. Even though he’s younger than I am, he’s taller and has some muscle on him. I’m not as strong as I used to be and he barely takes a step back before he follows me, grabbing my wrist. I wrench myself away and run upstairs, heading for the elevator. Fuuto doesn’t run, but follows me, stalking like a cat.

I slam the button frantically. By the time it opens, Fuuto is behind me. There was no way I was getting on an elevator alone with him. Instead I ran to the end of the hallway where there were stairs and booked it up them, feeling my heart pound. I feel like I’m going to throw up. As I get to the hallway where our rooms are, I hear the elevator ding. I panic and pull open the closest door. Shutting it behind me, I lock it and scramble for the bed. Once I’m on it, I smell the familiar scent of incense. 

Kaname.

I feel tears well up in my eyes. For some reason, Fuuto terrified me. 

He’s younger than you, dammit! I thought. Why did he do that? Why didn’t I stop him?

I hear something jiggle in the lock and tense. The door opens and shuts and I hear footsteps come closer.

“What’s this?” 

It’s Kaname’s voice. He lifts the blankets up and I curl into a tighter ball.

“Ai-chan? What are you doing in here?”

“Is Fuuto gone?” I ask, voice muffled by my legs.

“Fuuto? He’s in the shower, I think. Why?”

I didn’t answer, just tugged on Kaname’s sleeve. He sat on the bed and I crawled onto his lap, knees up near my head, shoulders hunched until I was practically a ball. He seemed unsure what to do.

“Did something happen?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I mumbled, “Please Kaname.”

He put his arms around me and rubbed my back.

This was what I craved. Human touch. His fingers rubbed circles on my back. I slowly uncurled from the ball I was in and wrapped my arms around him.

“Are you feeling any better?” he asked.

I nodded, “Thanks.”

“Hey,” he pulled away, “Fuuto can be a jerk. Don’t let what he says bother you. He messes with everyone and is kind of mean.”

I couldn’t tell Kaname about Fuuto’s wandering hands. I felt ashamed to say it. It seemed like such a little thing. I nodded, giving him a small smile.

“Thanks, Kaname, that helps.”

He smiled. “Hey; I’m going to meet up with some of the other monks, but feel free to call me if you need me.”

“I will, thank you,” I said and clambered off his lap.

He had a slight blush on his face, which I chalked up to it being almost stifling in his room. I followed him out of his room and waved goodbye before locking myself in my room. Like hell Fuuto was getting anywhere near me again. 

I was in my room for several hours, trying to distract myself from what happened. It brought up a lot of unpleasant memories. Thankfully, I received a phone call from the place I interviewed at and they wanted me to start tomorrow night. I was ecstatic and agreed, asking a few questions before I hung up. I pumped my fist in the air and fell backwards onto my bed in satisfaction.

“Ai-chan!”

I sat up. “Yes?”

“Dinner is ready!”

“Thanks, Tsubaki! Be down in a sec!”

I scrambled around for a moment, straightening my covers before hurriedly heading downstairs. I wasn’t as worried about Fuuto now that the others were home. He wouldn’t try anything with them around, right?

I found my seat at the table while Ukyo served everyone. Wateru was asking Fuuto about his tour. As I sat down, Fuuto’s eyes flickered over to me. I looked around for Kaname, but didn’t see him anywhere.

“Ah, Ai-chan, this is Fuuto,” Ukyo said gesturing to the pale-haired boy.

“Nice to meet you, big sis,” he said, looking through his heavy lashes.

“N-nice to meet you too,” I replied, confused. Why was he acting like we hadn’t met earlier? I shook my head and dug into my food. Wateru’s eyes were practically hearts while he watched Fuuto talk about his tour. I wanted to tear Wateru away and keep him far from Fuuto, but I didn’t. It was obvious he admired his older brother. I didn’t. 

“Excuse me,” I said and bowed, clearing my dishes.

I met Ukyo in the kitchen. I suddenly remembered a question that had been bugging me earlier.

“Oh, Ukyo-san,” I tapped his arm, “When is rent due?”

“I’m sorry?” he looked surprised.

“When is rent due? I’m not sure how much it is either, but if you could tell me I’ll be sure to get it on time~”

“You don’t have to pay rent,” Ukyo laughed. “Mother pays the rent.”

“B-but I’m~”

“It’s taken care of; don’t worry about it.”

“If-if you’re sure. Are you sure?” I squinted, “This isn’t a prank?”

“Why would it be a prank?”

“I dunno,” I shrugged, “I had to pay rent back home, so I figured I’d be paying rent here too.”

“We wouldn’t expect that of you,” Ukyo waved his hand. “Besides, you’re barely eighteen.”

I shrugged again. “So?”

Ukyo seemed surprised. “Well, don’t worry about it.”

“Okay. Hey, is anyone gonna be taking a shower anytime soon?”

“Subaru won’t be home for a little while because he’s out practicing. He’s the only one I’d be worried about needing a shower right away. Feel free to use it.”

“Thanks, Ukyo-san,” I smiled and headed to grab a towel.

The next day I avoided Fuuto as much as humanly possible until I started work that night. I put on my uniform and threw a jacket over it, heading out around three o’clock. My shift started at four, but I wanted to be early. The little restaurant I worked at was on a little side street that was frequented by students and young businessmen, as it was nearby the train station. 

When I arrived, Ueno-san; the manager, welcomed me and showed me where to put my things. The night passed in a blur. I took orders, made drinks, served food, cleaned tables, spilled an entire pot of tea (not my best moment), and helped in the kitchen. By the time closing rolled around at ten thirty, I was exhausted. We cleaned the kitchen and lobby and mopped everything. Ueno-san told me I did well for my first night and I thanked her, apologizing once more for spilling the tea. 

“It’s nothing,” she waved her hand, “First night jitters happen all the time. Stay safe on your walk home.”

“Thank you. Goodnight,” I bowed and pulled my jacket on. 

The streetlights were on as I walked home, suppressing a heavy yawn. I was looking forward to slipping into my bed once I got home. I pulled out my phone to check the time and found I had 79 missed calls and 45 text messages.

“Holy shit,” I breathed and started reading the messages.

Ukyo: Are you out?  
Ukyo: Will you be home for dinner?  
Ukyo: Dinner is ready.  
Ukyo: Are you alright?  
Ukyo: Where are you?  
Tsubaki: Ai-chan; where are you? We’ve been looking all over for you.  
Azusa: Please answer our calls  
Azusa: We’re worried  
Kaname: Where are you Ai-chan? Everyone is looking for you.  
Ema: Ai-chan, where are you? You weren’t at dinner and everyone is worried.

I cursed and dialed Ukyo. After two rings he picked up.

“Where are you?” he demanded, “Why haven’t you answered any of our calls?”

“I’m sorry Ukyo,” I began, “I didn’t have my phone on me~”

“Where are you?” he said.

“Uh… I’m on… just south of the little corner store by the station.”

“Please get home immediately.”

“I’m heading back now,” I replied, “Sorry for making you worry.”

I heard a click and frowned. He was definitely mad. I sighed and rolled my shoulders. I forgot to tell Ukyo I wasn’t going to be home for dinner. I actually forgot to tell him I got a job. Not that anyone asked. 

I was nearing home when I heard footsteps approaching. I tensed up and tightened my grip on my bag. 

“Ai-chan?”

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was Azusa.

“Hey,” I said, walking over under the streetlight he was standing under. “What are you doing out here?”

“Ukyo-nii told me to come get you.”

“Oh… I was already coming,” I said.

“He’s worried.”

“I’m sorry.”

We walked in silence. The elevator ride was quiet too. When we got to the main floor and exited, I saw Masaomi, Ukyo, Tsubaki, Louis, Subaru, Ema, Iori, and Kaname all sitting on the sofa.

Fucking perfect…

“Hey,” I smiled weakly.

“Ai-chan!” Tsubaki flung himself at me and caught me in his death grip. Azusa pulled him off.

“What were you doing out so late?” Ukyo demanded, “Where were you?”

“Well, she’s not drunk and she’s not high,” Masaomi breathed a sigh of relief.

“I was… at work,” I grabbed one arm with the other. “Sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Masaomi asked, “We were worried sick.”

“I forgot. I was really excited and… I dunno. I guess it just didn’t seem that important…”

“Everyone was worried sick about you!” Ukyo stood up.

I involuntarily took a step back. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to make trouble. Normally I just head out for work and come home whenever I’m done and it never bothered anyone before…” I felt like they were all looming over me. “I’m really sorry.”

“We were just really worried about you,” Ema said and took one of my hands.

Ukyo pinched the bridge of his nose. “In the future, please let us know when you will be going out. It’s not safe for you to be out so late.”

“I can handle it,” I looked away with a slightly irritated scowl, “I’m not a baby.”

“That’s not it,” Masaomi said, “It’s just that it’s dangerous for a girl to walk home alone at night. What if you get kidnapped?”

“Do you seriously think people look at me and are like, ‘yeah, that’s a nice fine piece of ass there; let’s take the one that looks like a dude’?” I retorted.

There were a few stunned looks, but Ukyo frowned.

“I still don’t like the fact that you are walking alone at night.”

“Well, I’m saving up to get a car, so it won’t be a big deal,” I shrugged. I felt a yawn coming on.

“Ai-chan~”

“Look,” I said through my yawn, “I’m an adult; I can take care of myself. I’m sorry I worried you guys, but it’s late and I need to get to bed. Can we talk about this in the morning?”  
Ukyo sighed. “We’re just worried about you.”

Yeah, yeah, keep saying that. It’s not like you mean it, I thought cynically.

“Thanks,” I laid a hand on his arm. “I’ll try not to cause any more trouble.”

“Just answer our calls next time,” Masaomi said, patting my head.

“I wasn’t allowed to have my phone on me at work or I would have,” I replied.

Ukyo wrapped his arms around me and squeezed, “Off to bed now.”

I waved goodnight to everyone else and headed to my room, feeling as if I’d disappointed everyone… again.

At least Fuuto wasn’t there to witness my embarrassment.


	3. Tattoos

I woke up extra early and got dressed, padding downstairs and pulling out ingredients. I was going to make it up to everyone. Hopefully then they’d forget about last night. I was in the middle of mixing the pancake batter when Ukyo appeared in the kitchen. His expression was one of surprise.

“Good morning, Ukyo-san,” I waved the whisk at him.

“Good… morning. What are you doing up so early?”

“I’m making breakfast. As an apology for last night.”

Ukyo smiled.

Thank god.

“That’s very kind of you. Let me help~”

“No!” I pushed him out of the kitchen, “I’m doing this alone. It’s not an apology if you help me!”

“V-very well,” Ukyo sat down uncertainly at the table. “I must confess I’m not sure what to do with myself.”

“Read a newspaper or something. Enjoy sitting still while I burn the pancakes,” I smiled and poured the batter onto the hot griddle.

Slowly people trickled downstairs, lured by the smell of cooking pancakes. I received a few incredulous looks once they spotted Ukyo sipping coffee at the table, reading a paper. By the time most of them were seated, I had five heaping plates of pancakes. I continued pouring batter and flipping pancakes, knowing that they would go fast. I was used to cooking for a lot of people, but these were all boys and there were lots of them. I served the pancakes and before I knew it, they had disappeared. I made more, only to have those eaten as well. By the time I’d run out of batter and patience, everyone was full. I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes, ignoring my grumbling stomach. 

“Ai-chan.”

I turned to find Ukyo, Masaomi, Tsubaki, Azsua, Subaru, Kaname, and Ema crowded into the kitchen.

“Yeah?” I swallowed. They couldn’t still be hungry, could they?

“You don’t have to do all this to earn our forgiveness,” Ukyo said.

I blinked. “But… but you were all so mad last night~”

“Mad?” Masaomi said, “We were worried.”

“But… you-you guys… I thought you were upset?”

“We weren’t upset with you.”

“Oh…” I furrowed my brows, “Are you sure?”

“Ai-chan, they’re not mad at you, and neither am I,” Ema smiled.

“But we didn’t agree… you thought I shouldn’t walk home at night and I said that I was fine and you got upset~”

“Just because we don’t agree doesn’t mean we’re mad at you,” Azusa said.

“O…kay. Thanks,” I smiled.

“Now come eat something,” Kaname said and put his arm around my shoulder. I followed him to the table where, to my utter amazement, there was a stack of pancakes covered in syrup, butter, and strawberries. I sat down and dug in, feeling a lot better. Kaname sat next to me while I ate.

“Do you have to watch me eat?” I asked, “You’re making me self-conscious.”

“Why? You’re cute when you eat.”

I choked on my pancakes and coughed, nearly dying in the process. Kaname patted me on the back.

“Don’t say stuff like that,” I said when I could finally breathe, my face red (from the coughing, duh).

He laughed and sat back. I was mid-bite when I saw Fuuto coming down the stairs.

“Oh, so she’s finally back?” he asked, arching a brow.

“She’d been back since last night. But you wouldn’t know that, would you, Fuuto? Since you needed your ‘beauty sleep’,” Tsubaki made air quotes.

I suppressed a laugh and continued eating.

“What’s for breakfast?” Fuuto stretched, arms above his head.

“We had pancakes that the lovely Ai-chan made,” Tsubaki threw an arm around my shoulders and I shrugged him off. “But unfortunately, as the saying goes, ‘you snooze, you lose’.”

Fuuto scowled. “What do you mean?”

“Ai-chan is eating the last of the pancakes as we speak,” Kaname gestured at me.

I looked up from the last few bites on my plate and found Fuuto’s scowl directed at me. I felt a bit of satisfaction knowing he’d have to get his own breakfast.

“Sorry, Fuuto,” I said.

He stalked to the kitchen and began rummaging around in the fridge. I finished my plate and went to dump it in the sink. Everyone else had gone their separate ways, except Kaname who was sitting in the living room thumbing through a magazine. I began to wash my dishes when I heard the refrigerator close. I thought nothing of it until I felt hot breath on my neck. I froze.

“So, you think you can just get away with whatever, huh?” he said in a low voice. “Staying out late, eating the last of the breakfast food… slapping me.”

I tried to move away but he had a hand on either side of me. I refused to turn and face him. He brought his face close, so close… I could feel the heat of his breath at the nape of my neck.

“Don’t make me call Kaname-san,” I warned, feeling weak in the knees.

“Why? I’m not doing anything.” He pressed his lips to the back of my neck.

“Kaname-san!” I called, almost in a panic. “I need help putting these dishes away!”

I heard a rustle from the other room and heard Fuuto curse softly as he pulled away, glaring before he disappeared. 

“Can’t you reach to put them away?” Kaname asked, smirking.

“Yeah, but I wanted you to do it,” I shrugged, playing it off as nothing.

He rolled his eyes and put the plate on the shelf, closing the cupboard doors.

“My hero!” I fluttered my lashes and clasped my hands next to my head in melodrama.

He let out a chuckle, messing up my scruffy hair. I squealed indignantly and punched his shoulder.

“An attack! How dare you!” Kaname raised his arms and began chasing me. 

I launched myself onto the couch and barricaded myself with pillows.

“Ha! You cannot break my impenetrable fortress!” I crowed.

Kaname looked less than impressed and swiftly kicked aside the pillows before leaning in and tickling. My brain short-circuited as it normally does when I’m being tickled and I began thrashing.

“Stop!” I begged.

Kaname was relentless and moved to my sides. My foot shot out and connected with his groin. He doubled over with a gasp. I sat up, mortified.

“Kaname-nii! Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” I fretted as he held up a hand, teeth gritted.

“It’s my own fault,” he laughed through the pain, “You told me to stop.”

“I know, but I’m really sorry,” I buried my head in my hands and felt the heat rise to my face.

I’d kicked him there…

My face was on fire with embarrassment. He grabbed my hands with one of his (the other still holding his precious bits), and smiled.

“Don’t beat yourself up, I’ll be fine.”

“D-do you need ice? Or something else?” I stood up, nearly tripping in the process.

Kaname reclined on the couch, watching me with something akin to amusement. 

“You know, I do need something.”

I caught the teasing lilt in his voice and gave him a side-look. He beckoned me closer. I leaned over so my ear was by his mouth. With a sudden pull, I was on top of him.

“Kaname-nii~”

“I need some company while I take a nap and heal.”

“Really, Kaname~” I struggled to sit up and pull my knee up under me. In doing so I dragged my leg across his crotch.

His grip tightened and I heard him grunt. I immediately felt guilty and stopped moving.

“Fine.”

“Good girl,” he laughed and patted my head.

I grumbled but eventually settled down with my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat and smelt the incense that permeated his clothing. I found myself slowly drifting off to sleep. My dreams were strange and light, with the soft hum of kitchen appliances in the background, and the steady breathing of Kaname overlaying them all. I’m not sure how much later it was, but I heard voices above us. 

“Aww, how cute.”

“That’s not fair! I wanna sleep with Ai-chan!”

“Shut up Tsubaki, you sound like a pervert.”

“Leave them be, they’re both probably tired.”

The last one must have been Ukyo. I shifted in my sleep and curled my fingers into something soft. I felt Kaname shift beneath me and soon there was a weight on my waist. I drifted back into blissful unconsciousness.

It was the sound of chatter from the dinner table that woke me. Kaname was already awake, I could tell by the way his breathing was. I turned my head to look up at him only to find him looking down at me already. I blushed and turned away. Kaname pushed himself to a sitting position, sliding me off to the side.

“You guys enjoy your nap?” Tsubaki called, making kissy noises.

“Fuck off!” I called back in English.

“What did she say?” Wateru asked Ukyo.

Ukyo nearly dropped his fork. “Well… I’m not exactly good at English, but she told Tsubaki to mind his own business.”

“Really?” Wateru asked, his mouth full.

I stretched and headed for the table. Right as I walked past Wateru, I heard him repeat what I said. My face must have been one of horror because Yuusuke laughed. I slapped a hand over Wateru’s mouth.

“Don’t say that again!” I told him. His eyes were big. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was naughty.”

He nodded. I took my hand away. Tsubaki was snickering. I narrowed my eyes and made a slicing motion across my neck. Ukyo cleared his throat.

“Oh, by the way, Ukyo-san,” I said, “I printed out my work schedule and put it on the fridge.”

“Thank you,” he smiled.

I nodded and helped myself to dinner. When everyone was done eating, I helped clear the table. I noticed Kaname wince a little as he stood. I remember earlier and felt bad.  
Ukyo and I did dishes while Ema and Yuusuke worked on homework. Ema called me over to help with English and then Yuusuke called Masaomi for help on his math. It was getting dark, so I said goodnight to everyone (and Juli, who was sitting on Ema’s shoulder).

When I reached the hallway leading to my room, I noticed a shadow against the wall. Brown eyes peered out from underneath heavy lashes. I froze. 

“Heading to bed, are we?” Fuuto purred.

He stood right next to my door. I pulled out my key, ignoring him, and unlocked my door. I opened it just enough to wedge myself in and tried shutting it. His hand caught it right before it closed. I cursed silently.

“Move your hand Fuuto.”

“No ‘Fuuto-chan’?” he questioned.

“You can fuck off. Leave me alone. Now move your fingers or I’m crushing them.”

He smirked and pried the door open wider. I tried pulling it shut, but he was winning.

“Let my door go Fuuto!”

He shoved me backwards. I stumbled and he came in, closing the door behind him and locking it. I began to panic. The only way out was behind him or through the window. Did I leave it open? I scrambled backwards. Why didn’t I keep a taser in my room? I grabbed blindly until my hand came in contact with a mechanical pencil.

Fuuto laughed. He laughed at me. He laughed at how pitiful I looked on the ground, holding a pencil as my defense.

And then he pinned me.

Fuuto squeezed my wrists so hard I cried out. The fucking sadist smiled. I struggled, writhing this way and that, thumping my head against the ground in panic.

“My, my, all worked up, are we?” he said into my ear.

I wanted to spit in his face. I trembled, afraid of what he might do to me. His hot breath was on my cheek. I turned my face away, feeling tears prick the corners of my eyes. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. My head was spinning, heart racing. I tried to think of something, anything I could say to make him stop.

“I’ll tell Masaomi,” I threatened as he pulled back.

His smirk made my chin quiver.

“Ah, yes… you’ll go running to your big brother and tell him that your younger brother did something to you? Well you know what I’ll do if you tell him that?”

I felt something in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t like the way this was going.

“You tell anyone about this and I’ll do even worse things to Ema.”

I felt my chest tighten. Of fucking course he’d use Ema against me. He knew I wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I went limp in his grasp.

“That’s it…” he chuckled. It was so different from Kaname’s. Why was I thinking about Kaname? 

Kaname.

He was safe. He didn’t do these kinds of things to me.

Suddenly I remembered this afternoon. While Fuuto was distracted with running his fingers along my skin, I positioned my knee. The second he brought his hand over my flat chest; I jerked my knee up between his legs. The sound that came from him was something between a wheeze and a cry. The satisfaction if brought me was tremendous. I felt no remorse, as I had for hurting Kaname earlier. 

Fuuto collapsed, holding his crotch and hissing between his teeth. I opened my door, pulled him by his legs, and dumped him in the hallway. Once he was gone, I felt relief and apprehension. Was he going to hurt Ema? I’d have to talk to her later. For now, I curled up in my bed and tried to forget Fuuto’s hot breath on my neck. I didn’t even bother to take off my binder. It felt safer with it on.

Morning came all too soon. I didn’t get out of bed for breakfast, only to quickly run to the bathroom and back, avoiding all life. Azusa knocked on my door to tell me breakfast was ready but I told him I wasn’t hungry. I heard him mutter something about Fuuto not wanting to eat either. I stayed in my room for lunch as well, and only came out when I was leaving for work.

I spent the rest of the week in my room, only leaving when I had to. I claimed I wasn’t feeling well. It led to everyone trying to see me. I told them all to leave, please. The only one I let in was Ema and Louis. Ema, because I felt I needed to keep an eye on her, and Louis because he didn’t bother me with questions. He was quiet and polite and let my put my head on his lap while he played with my short hair.

When I knew I could feasibly stay in my room no longer, I ventured out. To my surprise, I found the Fuuto had gone on tour again. Despite, Azusa said, having stomach pain. I laughed to myself with sick satisfaction. The dickhead deserved it. And now he won’t be around Ema or I. 

It had been three days since Fuuto went on tour. I was starting to get used to not having the jerk around to bother me. I worked, did chores, hung out with my brothers, and in two and a half weeks I would meet my father for the first time. I was nervous, but Ema assured me he was nice.

In the meantime, I had an appointment. It was in the evening, so I just told Ukyo I had work. The tattoo shop was clean and friendly, although there was only one female worker. She was my artist, and very friendly. Her name was Hana. We chatted while she worked. Sometimes I let out a string of cusses or smacked my fist on the arm of the chair when the pain got to be too much. Hana-san was very chill with it. She said she’s had worse customers. 

My session lasted five hours, much longer than my previous tattoo appointments. I had my shoulders and collarbone done, as well as my torso. I’d decided to add more lines to the geometrical pattern I had. But now I was extremely sore. Hana-san wrapped me in gauze, gave me the instructions and sent me on my way. It was still rather early; eight thirty. By the time I got home I just want to go to bed, but I had to wash my tattoos in an hour and a half. 

“You’re home early,” Kaname commented as I walked into the living room.

“Yep,” I sighed and plopped onto the couch next to him, trying not to put too much pressure on my new ink.

“You look tired,” Masaomi commented from his seat. 

“I am,” I leaned back and cracked my neck. It was a habit, but Kaname and Ukyo both shuddered. “Sorry.”

I was in the process of nodding off when I felt someone rest their hand on my shoulder. It was still really tender and I jerked away. Kaname looked surprised.

“Hey, you want to head to bed? You’re falling asleep on the couch.”

“I gotta shower yet,” I mumbled and pushed myself up. I was a little dizzy from standing too fast and Kaname steadied me.

“Whoa, be careful.”

“I’m fine,” I waved him off and tottered towards the bathrooms.

The hot water burned my fresh tattoos, but I ignored it. By the time I was done, dressed, and ready for bed, it was getting late. I’d put on loose t-shirt and sweatpants. The tattoos on my arms were visible, but I doubted anyone would be bothering me this late. As if to prove me wrong, I turned the corner to find Kaname leaning against the wall.

“You were in there a long time.”

“Sorry,” I said apologetically and covered my arms with the towel I was holding.

“Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m good, thanks,” I smiled and headed back to my room. 

Kaname followed. I fumbled with my keys, dropping them on the floor.

“Here,” he offered, taking them from me. He unlocked the door and held it for me.

“Thanks,” I stumbled into the room and fell onto the bed.

“Goodnight,” Kaname said, placing the keys on my nightstand.

“Night,” I said through the pillows.

The next day I had off work. It was a good thing too because my skin was tender beyond belief. The feeling of cloth rubbing against it was irritating. I left my binder off and just put on an oversized silk night shirt and shorts. I abandoned my bra in favor of going au natural. I spent the day at my desk sketching and working on an art piece of mine. Bebe Rexha and Neffex vibrated through my room from my Bluetooth speakers connected to my phone. That was probably why I didn’t hear the knock on my door.

“Ai-chan~”

I nearly fell out of my chair as I spun around to face Tsubaki. I realized my arms and legs were exposed and I wasn’t wearing a bra and grabbed a blanket from the bed, covering my shoulders. Tsubaki’s mouth hung open.

“Did you need something?” I asked, ignoring the stinging from the rough cloth rubbing my fresh tats. 

“U-uh, just coming to let you know that… that uh… i-it’s time for dinner.”

“Thanks, but I’m not hungry,” I said, feeling a scowl creeping onto my face.

Tsubaki was unabashedly gazing at the lines on my legs that peeked out from beneath the short blanket covering my top.

“I didn’t know… you had tattoos.”

“Yeah,” I shrugged. “I do.”

“…”

“Do you need anything else from me?” I asked.

“N-no…” he approached me.

I leaned back a little as he reached out a hand.

“Can… can I see?” he asked hesitantly.

I debated. It couldn’t hurt, right? He didn’t seem repulsed by them. I dropped the blanket and held out my arms. Tsubaki gently took one of them and turned it over, examining the lines.

“It’s very simple,” he stated.

“I have a few other ones that are more interesting,” I said, pulling my shirt up without thinking.

He reddened.

“It’s just my thigh,” I rolled my eyes, “I’ve got shorts on underneath; see?”

Tsubaki dropped his eyes to my leg where I sported a dragon and cherry blossoms.

“Wow,” he breathed, tracing a finger over it.

It was as if his fingertips were fire. Wherever his touch had been I felt tingles. 

Damn, what’s wrong with me? Am I that touch-starved?

“Tsuba-nii?” Yuusuke’s voice came from the door.

Tsubaki yanked his hand back as the redhead appeared in my room.

“Whoa!” Yuusuke turned around faster than I could say ‘hey’. “What the hell are you guys doing?”

“Ai-chan has tattoos,” Tsubaki said, “She’s showing me.”

“You wanna see Yuusuke-kun?” I offered.

Curiosity got the better of my younger step-brother and he brought his shy gaze to my arms and shoulders.

“Whoa, that’s a lot,” he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“I guess,” I shrugged. “I just got these ones done yesterday.”

“I thought you were working?” Tsubaki accused me.

“I mean… yeah, no; I wasn’t working. I just didn’t want a lecture from Ukyo-san.”

“Well, we were wondering what was taking you two so long,” Yuusuke told us. “Ukyo has dinner ready.”

My stomach growled and I sighed. “I guess I’ll come.”

I stood, wincing a little. 

“Just gimme a sec. I gotta find a robe or something that won’t irritate my skin.”

I grabbed a long kimono style cover-up and followed them out.

“About time you guys got here,” Azusa complained when we arrived at the table. “What took you guys so long?”

Before I could come up with an excuse, Yuusuke piped up.

“Ai-chan was showing us her tattoos.”

“Yuusuke!” I hissed.

“Tattoos?” Kaname crossed his arms and furrowed his brows.

“Yeah, she’s got them all over,” Yuusuke said.

“Really, Yuusuke?” I glared.

The little fucker had to rat me out, didn’t he?

“You have tattoos?” Ukyo set down my food.

I shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah… is there something wrong with that?”

“No, no,” Ukyo waved his hands frantically, “I’m just surprised is all.”

“Can I see?” Wateru tugged on my sleeve.

I looked to Ukyo, who nodded. With a sigh, I pulled my arm out of the sleeve and held it out. There were curious stares around the table.

“Did that hurt?” Wateru asked, touching it with a finger.

I pulled back with a wince. “Yeah. A little when I got it done, but not now."

Dinner was awkwardly quiet. I finished and excused myself to my room as soon as was polite. 

Well at least that’s out in the open…


	4. Drunk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter has lemony/limey scenes in it so proceed with caution!   
> Otherwise: enjoy!

My coworkers decided to plan a night out. I was excited. Ueno-san gave us all the night off work. In Japan, you could legally drink at 18. I was giddy and excited to try alcohol for the first time. I had been a good kid and not gotten into a lot of trouble growing up, so I’d never partaken in the act. 

Finally, the night came and I decided to dress up a little. I took off my binder. I almost felt naked without it. But once I put on a regular bra, I began to feel sexy. I checked myself out in the mirror, admiring myself. I was wearing a slinky black dress, with a slit up the side revealing my thigh tattoo, black stilettos, a black leather choker with silver studs and lace, and had managed to perfectly wing my eyeliner. I doubted anyone would recognize me now. And I felt good. The last time I’d gone out looking like this was before- never mind… I don’t want to ruin the night thinking about it.

I managed to get to the main level before I was stopped. Ukyo was making dinner and did a double-take.

“A-ai-chan?” he furrowed his brows.

“Yes, nii-chan?” I giggled, twirling. “What do you think?”

“Where are you going?”

“Ueno-san gave us the night off and all of the workers are going out.”

“Where?”

“It’s this place kinda by Iori’s highschool. I forget what it’s called.”

At this point everyone in the dining room had heard Ukyo and I talking and had come to investigate. The amount of jaws hitting the floor was comical.

“You are not going out in that,” Kaname crossed his arms.

“I’m an adult nii-chan,” I waggled my finger in front of his nose, “Besides, I haven’t done this in ages.”

“You have tattoos?” Masaomi raised his brow. He hadn’t been home for the tattoo conversation over dinner.

“Yeah,” I shrugged, feeling dismissive. “These are my newest ones.” I pointed to the lines on my collar.

“Your dress is so pretty Ai-chan,” Ema fingered the fabric.

“I’ll let you try it on someday,” I promised.

“I didn’t know you had boobs,” Tsubaki said, his forefinger on his chin.

Azusa cracked him in the back of the head. “Really, Tsubaki?”

Wateru ran up to me. “Wow! Onee-chan! You look so pretty!”

He buried his head in my chest as I gave him a hug. I swear I saw steam come out of Ukyo’s ears and blood out of Tsubaki’s nose.

“Anyway, I’ve got to get going or I’ll be late. See you guys later!” I said and got on the elevator.

“Be home by eleven!” Ukyo called.

“It’ll be a miracle if that happens,” I laughed cheekily as the doors shut.

I got to the bar (yes, Ukyo; bar) on time with more than a few stares thrown my way. I met Natsu-san and Jinji-san, my female coworkers before I went inside. Our male coworkers, Kuro-san and Daichi-kun were already inside. They both complimented us and all of us indulged in gentle flirting. It was fun. We told stories, ate food, drank sake. It tasted strange at first, but the more I drank the better it tasted. I began to feel fuzzy after a while and had trouble seeing things clearly. At one point there was a hand on my thigh and I couldn’t tell if it was one of my coworkers or a stranger. I don’t know what time it was, but the girls and I finally decided to go home. I said my good-bye’s and staggered back the way I came. I took my shoes off and walked barefoot in the warm night air. I was more than tipsy at this point and could barely think straight.

By the time I got home and smashed the elevator keys, I was sure I was drunk, but feeling too giddy to do anything about it. I was thirsty though, and found myself in the kitchen getting a glass of water. I heard someone behind me and turned a little too fast. There was a man behind me, wearing glasses. He looked worried.

“Ai-chan, are you alright?” 

I looked him up and down. Damn, he was hot. I set my glass on the counter and staggered towards him as seductively as I could. He held his hands out to catch me and I fell into his chest. I tried to focus on his face. It seemed familiar.

“Damn, daddy,” I giggled, “you’re strong.”

The man’s face looked as if it had been lit on fire. The tips of his ears might have been smoking. 

“Ai-chan, you’re drunk.”

“And you’re handsome,” I slurred, running my hand down his chest. My fingers drifted lower to his belt buckle. At first, he didn’t notice, seeming to be too worried about me. The second I tugged on it he went rigid, cold hands tightening on my arms.

“A-Ai-chan, don’t do that. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I don’t wanna!” I whined like a child. I leaned into him, pressing my cleavage up where he could see it. He glanced away and tried to back up, but tripped over his own feet. I landed on top of him, my chest just above his belt. He looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing.

“Ukyo-nii?”

I turned toward the voice. A tall man in monk robes stood at the entrance to the kitchen. He had blond spiky hair and a worried look on his face.

“Ukyo?” I repeated and looked down at the man beneath me. His name sounded familiar.

“Kaname,” Ukyo’s voice was strained, “Can you get her to bed?”

“Of course,” he said and put a hand on my shoulder. “Come on Ai-chan.”

I tilted my head, pouting. “I don’t wanna go to bed.”

Kaname sighed and lifted my bridal style, carrying me to the elevator. I snuggled into his neck.

“Mhm, I like it when you carry me like this,” I purred, putting a hand on his cheek.

“You’re trouble,” Kaname replied.

“Oh my, somebody’s grumpy,” I pressed a finger to my chin, “Is it cause you’re not getting any action?”

Kaname’s cheeks reddened and he sputtered. 

“I-I get plenty of action,” he said, turning his face away.

“Hm? Oh really?” 

He opened the door to a room and closed it behind us.

“My, my, moving fast aren’t we?” I giggled.

Kaname set me down on my bed and stood. I grabbed his sleeve.

“Where are you going?”

“It’s bed time for you,” he told me.

“But I’m not in pajamas!” I pointed out.

Kaname rubbed his temples and moved over to the dresser where he rummaged through the drawers. Meanwhile, I worked my dress off over my head, sitting in my lacy black bra and panties, waiting for him to turn around. When he did, he wasn’t looking at me. He was holding two different pairs of pants.

“Blue or pur~” he lifted his gaze and choked.

He ripped his robe off and threw it at me. I took it with a huff. All of my attempts at flirting were getting nowhere. This called for drastic measures. I steadied myself and took two steps to where Kaname was covering his eyes. I placed one hand on his bare chest and the other on the waist of his pants. His eyes snapped open and he reached out to push me away, but the second his hands touched my bare skin he yanked them back as if they were on fire. 

“Ai-chan… please,” his voice sounded strangled, “Go to bed!”

“But I want to sleep with you,” I begged.

“Ai-chan; you’re drunk.”

“I need you!” I tugged at his pants.

They were tight and something was bulging. Kaname bit his lip and tried moving for the door. 

“Kaname~”

“No!” he shoved me so hard I fell back.

I hit my head on the edge of the desk and winced, holding my head. Guilt instantly overtook Kaname’s features.

“Ai-chan- I’m sorry,” his hand hovered over my bare shoulder.

I felt tears in my eyes and bit my lip, a sob wracking my frame.

“D-don’t cry,” Kaname pulled me into a hug.

I wrapped my arms around his torso, burying my face in his chest. He lifted me onto my bed and set me down. I tugged him down next to me, not letting go of him. The woodsy smell of cedar emanated from his skin and I took a deep sniff.

“Please don’t go,” I whispered into his neck.

“Alright,” Kaname pulled the covers over us.

I felt sleep pulling at my eyelids. Before it overtook me, I shifted. There was something poking my thigh. I tried to look down, but Kaname’s grip tightened.

“Kaname-nii,” I wriggled. “There’s something hard poking me!”

He grunted.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, feeling devious. “Kaname-nii.”

“Hm?”

“Are you aroused?”

There was a long silence.

“Go to sleep Ai-chan.”

I wiggled my hips, grinding against his erection. I heard a breathy moan above me.

“Ai-chan! Come on; you’re going to regret this in the morning.”

“Am I, Kaname?” I tilted my head, dropping the honorific. I snaked my hand down to the tent in his trousers. I heard his breath catch. I began rubbing him through the fabric of his shorts. His hands flew down to grab my wrists.

“Stop,” he commanded. “We’re not doing this.”

“But you like it, don’t you?” 

He hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t like it. Its just that you’re inebriated. Its not fair to take advantage of you like this.”

I sat up, straddling him. “You’re not taking advantage of me. I want to do this.”

I began to rock my hips. Kaname threw his head back and groaned in pleasure. I trembled with excitement. 

He’s so fucking hot like this, I thought dazedly. Wait… what am I doing? Horror dawned on me. I literally grinding on Kaname! Oh my god… what am I doing?!

I stopped, putting a hand to my throbbing head. My stomach felt queasy and I covered my mouth. Kaname looked up at me, flushed but worried.

“You-you okay?” he croaked.

“I… I don’t feel good,” I braced myself with one hand on his chest.

“You should really go to sleep,” Kaname said, sitting up.

He pushed me down, tucking the blankets under my chin. With a chaste kiss to my forehead, he ran his hand through my hair. Within moments I was asleep.

Kaname’s POV

I hadn’t expected to find Ai-chan in the kitchen with Ukyo when I came down. The sight of her flushed cheeks and low-cut dress had my heart pounding. Seeing her lying on top of Ukyo made jealousy bubble in my chest.

“Kaname, can you get her to bed?” Ukyo asked, clearly uncomfortable. I saw the slight tent in his pants and nearly growled.

“Of course,” I said and put a hand on Ai’s shoulder. “Come on Ai-chan.”

“I don’t wanna go to bed.”

I picked her up and carried her out of the kitchen to the elevator.

“Mhm, I like it when you carry me like this,” she put a hand on my cheek.

“You’re trouble.”

“Oh my, somebody’s grumpy,” she pressed a finger to her chin, “Is it cause you’re not getting any action?”

My face instantly grew hot and I looked away. “I-I get plenty of action.”

Why did I say that?

“Hm? Oh really?” 

I got her in her room and rummaged through her drawers, looking for pajamas and trying to distract myself. I turned to Ai.

“Blue or pur~” 

She sat on the bed, undressed and coy looking. Her tattoos stood out against her skin, making her look like some kind of otherworldly being.

I didn’t know she had them all over like that.

The soft curve of her breasts drew my eye. I couldn’t keep looking at her. Ripping my robe off, I threw it at her, covering my eyes. 

Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think~

I felt a hand on my chest, and another at my waist. My gaze drifted to her chest, then back to her face. I went to push her off, but couldn’t bring myself to touch her skin.

“Ai-chan… please,” I begged, feeling my pants tighten, “Go to bed!”

“But I want to sleep with you,” she begged.

“Ai-chan; you’re drunk.”

“I need you!” There was a tug tugged at my pants.

I made a move for the door. I need to get out of here!

“Kaname~”

“No!” I shouted and pushed her away with a little too much force.

Her head hit the desk. Suddenly she was cradling it and I was filled with guilt.

“Ai-chan- I’m sorry,” my hand hovered over her bare shoulder.

She sobbed.

“D-don’t cry!”

She buried her face in my bare chest and I pulled her onto the bed.

“Please don’t go.”

“Alright,” I pulled the covers over us.

I did my best not to think of her warm body pressed up against mine and the pleasurable feeling of her hips against my crotch.

“Kaname-nii,” she wriggled. “There’s something hard poking me!”

Fuck.

“Kaname-nii.”

“Hm?”

“Are you aroused?”

“Go to sleep Ai-chan.”

There was sudden friction against my groin. I couldn’t help but let out a moan of pleasure.

“Ai-chan! Come on; you’re going to regret this in the morning.”

“Am I, Kaname?” Her hands found their way to my throbbing erection.

“Stop,” I commanded. “We’re not doing this.”

“But you like it, don’t you?” 

I hesitated. “It’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just that you’re inebriated. It’s not fair to take advantage of you like this.”

Ai sat up, her legs straddling my sides, sitting on top of the tent in my shorts.

“You’re not taking advantage of me. I want to do this.”

Her hips began to gyrate, and I felt my brain fizzle and pop, dropping all reason. I was wracked with wave after wave of pleasure. Suddenly she stopped.

“You-you okay?” I managed to get out.

“I… I don’t feel good,” she braced herself with one hand on my chest.

“You should really go to sleep,” I said, sitting up. I was already missing the friction, but I ignored it and kissed her forehead. After a few moments of stroking her hair, she was asleep. I left quietly, needing to take care of my painful problem. I spent far too long in the bathroom, cold water biting into my skin as I replayed what had happened. I shook my head. 

“It doesn’t mean anything. She was drunk.”

Ai’s POV

I woke up with a pounding headache. Groaning, I tried to recall last night. All I remembered was going to the bar with my coworkers and getting drunk. The rest was blank. I seemed to remember Kaname’s voice telling me to go to sleep. 

I staggered up, finding myself only in my underclothing. With a grimace, I stripped and threw them into a corner, tugging my binder on. The sun streamed through my window, making me squint. I pulled on an oversized hoodie and skinny jeans, not bothering to put a shirt on underneath. Its not like I was going to take it off anyway.

The walk to the kitchen was tedious and the noise coming from the common area irritated my head. I put a hand to my ear and covered it, trying to block out some of the noise. 

“Ai-chan!” I heard Ema’s voice call out.

The chatter died down and I glared out across the room. Most everyone was there except Masaomi, who was probably at work.

“Good morning, Ai-chan,” Tsubaki threw his arm around my shoulder.

“Why are you so fucking loud?” I grumbled, holding my head.

Tsubaki looked hurt and drew away.

“Don’t mind him,” Azusa said. “How was your night?”

I grimaced. “Good, I think. Don’t remember much of it. What time did I get back?”

Ukyo walked out of the kitchen holding a bowl of rice. “About two in the morning. You were pretty drunk.”

“Oh,” I rubbed my eyes, “That explains a lot. What time is it now?”

“Almost ten,” Ema replied.

“Here,” Ukyo handed me water and a pill. “This will help your hangover.”

“Thanks,” I popped the pill and sat down on the couch next to Kaname. He shifted a little away from me. I frowned. What was his problem?

“Morning,” I said, stretching.

“G-good morning,” he looked away.

“What’s the matter with you?”

“N-nothing,” Kaname stammered.

I didn’t believe him, but shrugged and leaned back, feeling the headache still throbbing. It wasn’t long before I nodded off, my head drooping to one side. 

“She must be exhausted,” Ema said. 

I felt a blanket over me and slid down, pulling it around me.

“Well, she did have a long night,” Ukyo sighed.

“She’s not the only one,” I heard Kaname grumble.

Shit, did I do something last night that upset him?

“How long did it take to get her to bed?”

“Too long,” Kaname replied, something akin to irritation lacing his voice.

“Aww, are you grumpy you had to stay up and take care of little Ai-chan?” Tsubaki cooed. “I can do it next time if it bothers you that much.”

“Like hell,” Kaname growled, “You’re a fucking pervert.”

There were indignant replies, but it all faded into the background as I was lulled to sleep by the buzzing of voices around me. 

When I awoke, the lights were off, making the room almost dark. I sat up, disoriented. It took me a second to get my bearings. I’d been dreaming of home. Shaking my head, I slipped off the couch and shuffled across the floor to the kitchen. My throat felt like it was full of sand. I gulped down two full glasses of water before the feeling abated. 

I probably stink. I should take a shower.

I gathered my things from my room and headed for the bathroom. To my dismay, the light was on. I knocked.

“Hey, is anyone in here?” I called, but there was no answer.

I shrugged and opened the door, letting myself in. Somebody probably forgot to turn the light off again. If I had to guess it was either Wateru or Yuusuke. They were the culprits before. I pulled off my sweatshirt and pants, folding them neatly. I heard the door open behind me and whirled around, clutching my towel to my chest.

A tall woman with long red hair stood in the doorway, looking as surprised as I was. We both stared at each other for a minute before I swallowed.

“H-hey?”

“Oh, my apologies,” she said, “You must be Ai-chan. I’m Hikaru, the fourth son.”

Son.

My face turned red and I bowed awkwardly.

“N-nice to meet you?”

“My apologies for barging in. I left to get a towel,” he held up the blue cloth.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought Yuusuke had just left the light on. I’ll-I’ll just get dressed~”

“We could always just shower together and save water,” Hikaru suggested, his eyes calculating.

I paused. Was this guy for real?

“I’m good, thanks.” I yanked my sweatshirt on and wrapped the towel around my waist. Quickly gathering my things, I squeezed past Hikaru and dashed to my room.

What a pervert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys got to meet Hikaru; yay! He's not all creepy, just awkward... Anyway, if you like please comment to let me know!


	5. I Fucked Up Big Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is based on personal experiences and deals with heavy issues in it. It also has rape/non-con in it so please skip if that is a trigger for you.

Rintarou and Miwa were coming back today. I took a deep breath. To say I was nervous was the understatement of the century. I was pacing my room, trying to decide what to wear.   
Should I dress how I normally do, or should I dress more like Ema? 

Fuck it; I’m not a clone of Ema. I’ll dress like I normally do. Rintarou can just deal with having a weirdo for a kid. He doesn’t get to complain since he wasn’t there to raise me.

It’s not his fault though, I thought in the back of my head.

Knowing my mom overdosed when I was a baby was harsh, but made my issues in the past make more sense seeing as where I got my genetics from. 

The beeping of a heart monitor. The bright lights of the hospital. The taste of charcoal on my tongue. Sudden, sporadic contractions of my muscles.

I shook my head to clear the unpleasant memories. My stomach was roiling and I couldn’t tell if it was from the nerves or my memories. I dug a piece of candy out of my nightstand drawer and popped it in my mouth to give me something to focus on while I distracted myself by getting dressed. The music I’d put on helped soothe my mind as I wrestled on my binder and t-shirt. My tattoos were out for the world to see tonight. With a sigh, I snapped the dial on my radio to the off position and opened my door to begin the descent to judgment. 

The living room was packed with my family (still feels strange to call them that). Rintarou and Miwa were seated in the middle of the couch with Wateru and Ema hanging off each of their respective biological parents. I hung back by the kitchen awkwardly, holding my left arm just above the elbow. 

“Ai-ne!” Wateru called, waving his arm. “Come meet our mom!”

I shuffled forward with my eyes darting from the floor to their eyes and back again. Miwa was smiling, and Rintarou’s expression was difficult to get a read on. I focused on his face before bowing stiffly. I think he is confused.

“Ai-chan?”

“Rin-…D-dad,” I bit the inside of my cheek.

Things were awkwardly quiet. For too long. Rintarou seemed to be processing. I probably should have sent him a photo of myself or something before we actually met.

“You’re so grown-up looking!” Rintarou finally spit out, “You look older than eighteen.”

“Well, I’m almost nineteen,” I shrugged weakly and rubbed my tattoos subconsciously with my index finger.

“Well aren’t you just precious!” Miwa stood and held out her arms for a hug.

It was a little strange, but I’m a good hugger, so I didn’t mind. I wedged myself between Yuusuke and Masaomi on the couch.

“How are you getting along with everyone?” Rintarou asked.

“Everyone’s been good to me,” I said. Except Fuuto. He can go choke on rocks, I thought.

“Ai-ne is lots of fun!” Wateru piped up, “She plays with me and gives me snacks!”

“Wateru!” I mock-scolded, “The snacks were our secret!”

“Sorry Onee-san!” he put his hands together and bowed.

“How come I didn’t get any snacks?” Tsubaki pouted.

“You didn’t ask,” I replied.

“I’m glad you’re all getting along,” Rintarou sighed with a smile. “You haven’t met Natsume and Hikaru yet though, have you?”

“No,” I said, “but I met Hikaru the other day when everyone was gone. He stopped by to crash here before he headed out to his conference.”

“Oh, so it’s just Natsume,” Miwa nodded, “That boy is so busy all the time.”

“Just get Ema-chan to ask him to visit,” Azusa shrugged, “He’ll make time.”

“Why would he come if I ask him?” Ema asked.

“Are you blind? He adores you,” Azusa told her.

I laughed, “Everybody adores Ema-chan.”

I wish people liked me like that, I thought bitterly on the inside. 

“I’m sure he’s just being nice,” Ema said shyly.

Oh, shut up.

“Ukyo told me you got a job,” Rintarou told me.

“Yeah, I work at a restaurant by the station.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s good. It lets me save money.”

“Saving for college?” Miwa asked.

I shifted and glanced out the window. “Um, mostly for a car and an apartment. But yeah, school if I get the chance.”

“Where do you want to go?” Ema turned her attention to me. “Subaru, Yuusuke and I are going to Meiji University.”

“I don’t know where I want to go yet,” I lied.

“Well, I’m sure we can help you decide,” Rintarou offered, “There’s plenty of colleges in Japan that you could go to with your grades.”

The only reason my grades were so good was because I graduated before shit hit the fan.

“Thanks,” I said, trying to end the conversation. “How long are you guys staying?”

“Oh, we have to be gone by morning,” Miwa told me, “Rin-kun and I have a business meeting in Tokyo.”

“You mean you have a business meeting,” Rintarou laughed, “I’m just tagging along.”

“Only because I can’t leave you,” Miwa pecked him on the cheek.

Yuusuke gagged and Ema giggled. I rolled my eyes at them.

We made small talk after that, eventually making our way to the table to eat the dinner Ukyo had ordered out for earlier. The night passed agonizingly slow. Finally, I was able to excuse myself to my room. It was only an hour later when there was a knock on my door. I opened it to find Rintarou.

“Hey,” he chuckled, “I thought we could talk just the two of us.”

“Sure,” I replied hesitantly.

He sat next to me on the bed. It was quiet for a minute.

“I’m sorry I didn’t contact you that much these past few weeks,” he said quietly.

“You’re busy. It’s okay.”

There was another silence.

“I hope you’ll stay here. I’d like to try to make up for not being there when you were growing up.”

“You don’t have to atone for anything. It’s not like she told you.” 

“Your mom and I… We were both young and stupid. We were drunk and… and we made a mistake. It should have never happened. I’m sorry.”

Ouch.

“It’s okay,” I churned out mechanically.

Silence. How awkward could this get?

“I hope you’ll accept Miwa as your mother. She’s a good woman. I love her. And she loves you.”

I nodded.

Like hell she loves me. She doesn’t even know me. And neither do you. 

“Well, I’ll let you get to bed,” Rintarou stood, “I love you, sweetheart.”

“Goodnight.”

He closed the door behind him. I scowled at the space he’d just vacated in distaste. The jerk basically came in here to tell me I was an unwanted mistake. I already knew that. My biological mom almost aborted me but was convinced to carry to full term because there was a family lined up to adopt her infant. I had to live with that already, and now he slapped his own disappointment on top of that. Between his attitude when he first saw me and our conversation now the only thing keeping him from booting me out is his guilt.  
The rational part of my brain told me that he was just trying to explain himself to me, but my emotional self took over. 

I spent the night tossing and turning, replaying his words over and over. 

Morning came and Rintarou and Miwa were nowhere to be seen. I was quiet all through breakfast no matter how Ukyo and Masaomi tried to draw me out. I retreated back to my room where I cranked up my music and lay on my bed. 

I lost track of how many times someone knocked on my door to ask if I was ok. I just told them I was fine and they left. I was dozing on my bed when I heard the door crack open.

“The fuck~” I started. “Louis?”

The white-blonde waved.

“How did you get in?”

“Master key,” he held it up, “I got it from Masaomi earlier.”

“That’s cheating,” I crossed my arms.

“What’s wrong Ai-chan?” Louis locked the door behind him so we wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Nothing,” I shrugged, “Just tired.”

“You know you can talk to me about anything,” he said, taking my hand.

I worried my lip and looked away. Louis was always easy to talk to. I debated on sharing.

“It’s just… Rintarou seems distant. I feel like he doesn’t want me. I’ll never be like Ema.”

“But you aren’t supposed to be like Ema-chan. You’re you.”

I cursed, realizing I’d been forgetting the honorifics.

“But that’s not who he wants me to be,” I said.

“He wants you to be you. He just isn’t used to you yet. You’re new to him. It’ll take some getting used to for you both.”

“I guess,” I sighed and leaned on Louis’ shoulder. “It’s just hard when you try to live up to someone’s expectation of you but you don’t know what it even is.”

“You’ll get it,” Louis patted my head.

“Thanks Louis-nii,” I smiled and hugged him.

It had been two weeks since Rintarou and Miwa had visited. Even with what Louis had said to me, Rintarou’s words rolled around in my head, taunting me. I made several mistakes at work, and was gloomy all the time. 

Ueno-san pulled me aside. “Are you okay, Ai-chan?”

“I’m fine,” I sighed, “Just tired.”

“It’s more than tired. You’re always sad. What wrong?”

I put my head in my hands. “Its just issues at home. It’s bothering me.”

“You should go out and do something fun,” Ueno-san said sincerely, “Go have a good time.”

“I don’t have the time~” I began.

“Nonsense. You only ever work; you told me so yourself.”

“Yeah, and work takes up most nights. I’ll be fine.”

“No. You’re taking tonight off,” Ueno-san said firmly, tugging my apron strings off. “And tomorrow. You need to relax and loosen up. You’re scaring all the customers away with your gloomy attitude.”

“But~”

“Besides, it’s oddly slow tonight,” she answered my next question, “Now go out and have fun. You’re working too much as it is.”

I sighed, resigned. If my boss told me to take the night off I might as well. I went back to the apartments. No one seemed to be home and I remembered them talking about going to Subaru’s basketball game to cheer him on. I could always go meet them. The thought of spending time watching a bunch of people chase after a ball made me blanch and I decided against it.

I stripped off my uniform and debated. I had the night off and it was a Saturday. I might as well go to a club and get drunk off my ass. I could always get an uber home. I knew of a big club not too far away from the bar I’d gone to with my coworkers last time. I flipped through the clothes in my closet. I could just wear the dress I wore last time, or I could wear the incredibly racy micro dress that I’d bought on a whim when I was sleep deprived.

I shrugged. 

Go big or go home, I guess.

And I grabbed the dress.

I sat at the bar, drink in hand, watching the lights and the disco ball. It had taken me the better part of an hour to get ready, and the rest of the hour to get here. Now I was here and ready to get wasted. I figured getting drunk was better than what I did in the past to forget my pain and problems. 

Rintarou. My birthmother. The fact that I wasn’t even supposed to be alive. There were so many times when I should have died. Shaking my head, I pushed away the nagging memories and battled the flashbacks with a pina colada. 

I adjusted my fishnet tights under my black microskirt. I used the same choker as the last time I’d gone out, but instead of my regular five-inch stilettos, I wore seven and a half inch heels of shiny black vinyl. My lips were stained red as if I was a vampire who just finished sucking blood from their victim. My eyes were surrounded by dark makeup, making my muddy green eyes pop. I was dressed fit to kill.

The drinks I’d been sipping for the past two hours had started to give me a buzz. I slammed the last of my margarita and hopped off the barstool with more prowess than grace. I made my way to the dancefloor, feeling the music pulse in my ears and pound through the soles of my feet. 

Things started blurring together as I found myself dancing in the crowd, flitting from man to man, sometimes blowing a kiss to a well-dressed woman. A familiar song came on and I started grinding on a tall, handsome stranger. His hands found their way to my hips, then my sides. Soon they were tangled in my short hair and his mouth was on mine. I leaned into him, still bouncing to the music, and my hands traced his stomach under his shirt. Each touch felt about as electric as a piece of wood. I was numb with both alcohol and feelings. Soon we found ourselves in a corner of the club, hands all over each other, feeling arms, shoulders, stomachs; reaching to tangle fingers in each other’s hair. 

Something in the back of my head told me this wasn’t a smart idea. This was falling back on old bad habits. I pushed them down and continued.

I don’t remember how we got there, but we were in a room with a large bed. Queen sized, maybe? What does it matter… it’s a bed.

The stranger slammed me down on the mattress and began roaming his hands along my body. I kicked off my shoes and tugged at his shirt. His shed it in an instant. Then he removed his pants. I was busily pulling off my tights. The little voice was screaming at me to stop, but I ignored it. 

His mouth crashed down onto mine, before his hand dipped below my waistline. He, like every other male I’d been with, failed to prep me and simply forced himself in. I was barely slick, even with all the touching we’d been doing, and I could feel the burning sensation. I whimpered, tears pricking my eyes even with the alcohol dulling the pain. In and out he pumped, each thrust dulling the pain until I could barely feel it. His fingers gripped my hips, bruising them while his teeth nipped my neck, leaving bloody purple marks in their wake. At one point he grabbed by throat and slammed my head against the headboard of the bed. I saw stars.

He pulled out and forced his member into my mouth. I tried not to gag, and tried to keep my tongue from touching it. I hated this. I felt like I could throw up. After what seemed an eternity, he pulled me off and went back to pounding inside of me.

“Don’t… don’t come inside,” I panted, a small part of my rational brain working still. I wasn't going to end up like my mother.

Mere second later he pulled out and finished, dribbling his cum over my stomach which was still covered by my short dress. I saw blood mixed with it and felt a spark of anger before I allowed it to fade away. I felt the bed rise as his weight lifted from it and I looked around. He pulled his trousers on and picked up my shoes and tights. Tossing them to me he jutted his chin out.

“Put them on.”

I obeyed, my body screaming in protest. The heels were hard to stand upright in. He stepped away and opened the door.

“Go on.”

I looked up at him in confusion.

“You’re not staying the night. Get out.”

I felt bile rise in my throat, but wobbled out and down the first flight of stairs, holding my clutch. I barely made it to the street before I collapsed and ripped my shoes off. I could barely see straight, let alone walk. What kind of guy just throws a girl on the street?

I berated myself in my drunken state, staggering to the nearest garbage bin where I threw up. I tried to get my bearings but, in my condition, I couldn’t read the Japanese clearly and ended up just curling up on a nearby bench. It was chilly, but the bite didn’t bother me; I was drunk (if you hadn’t noticed already). 

I woke up to the early morning sun blaring into my eyes. I could still feel the lingering effect of the alcohol, though I was no longer blackout drunk. The night before was mostly just glimpses and feelings. I sat up and looked at the signs again. I wasn’t too far from the apartments now that I could figure out where I was. I set out walking, carrying my shoes. It was more of a sauntering stagger, but it accomplished the job. It was early enough in the morning that there weren’t many people out. Those who were out glanced in my direction before averting their eyes and continuing with their business. 

It took almost an hour to get to the apartments. I snuck into my room and locked the door. I slipped out of my dress and threw it into a corner. I threw my clutch onto the nightstand and ripped off my tights, tossing them into the garbage with my underwear. Both were stained with dried blood. I caught sight of myself in my mirror and glared. My neck and chest were littered with bloody bruises and there was a handprint around my neck. My makeup was smeared all over my face. I was quite the sight. No wonder people had given me weird looks.

I yanked a makeup wipe out of its container and scrubbed my face clean. I pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a long-sleeved shirt before crashing in bed. I’d shower later.

It was two hours later when there was a knock on my door.

“Ai-chan? Are you in there?”

“Go away, Tsubaki!”

“Ai-chan; Fuuto’s back. Don’t you want to say hello?”

If he thinks he can lure me out with Fuuto he’s badly mistaken.

“Leave me alone.”

“Aww, come on Ai-chaaaaan~”

“Leave me the fuck alone Tsubaki!” I growled, getting out of bed.

“Aww, you hurt me Ai-chan,” he pouted. 

I heard receding footsteps. I breathed sigh of relief. I wasn’t going to leave my room for the rest of the day.


	6. Meeting Natsume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of Natsume, sorry guys!

I groaned and sat up, reaching for my phone. I checked the time. 

10:43 p.m.

I still hadn’t gotten around to using the 24-hour clock like everyone else here in japan.

I pulled on a hoodie and jeggings before snatching my phone and a towel and creeping down the hallway towards the elevator. It was just my luck to run into a certain brown-eyed pervert. 

“It’s been awhile, Ai-chan,” Fuuto purred dangerously.

“Not long enough,” I spat out and pushed past him.

He caught my arm. I winced at his strength. My thoughts flashed back to the previous night and I yanked my arm away with surprising strength and speed. Fuuto appeared surprised. I didn’t want to feel the touch of a man’s hands for a very long time. 

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I hissed.

“Did you forget our little conversation?” he towered over me as I waited for the elevator. His hands brushed my neck where there was bruising.

Fuck it, I’m taking the stairs again.

“No, I haven’t,” I said, “But touch Ema and I’ll tell your brothers.”

“Oh? My brothers? Don’t you mean our?”

I glared at him as he followed me down the stairs. “I meant what I said. I’m not related to you guys.”

“The others will be heartbroken to hear that,” Fuuto stepped in front of the door.

“Leave me alone, Fuuto.”

“Why would I do that? Having you around makes things interesting.”

“You’d find anyone amusing. Now leave.” I shoved my shoulder into his and he stumbled.

I yanked the door open and hurried to the shower. Locking the door, I noticed lights on in the living room. People were still up. I ignored it and turned the water on until it steamed. The scalding temperature made all the little cut and bruises sting, but I didn’t care. I felt pain again and it reminded me that I was just a tiny speck of life trying to survive on this godforsaken planet I’d been unwillingly put on. 

The cynicism in my life had doubled since my conversation with Rintarou. I used to be optimistic. Not so much now.

I was in the shower a good thirty minutes before I turned the water off and stepped out. 

With the dried blood washed off and having been given time, the bruises stood out even more against my ashen skin. I looked like I’d been through hell. Circles stood out under my eyes, and one of them was almost black, as if I’d been hit in the face. I might’ve been for all I remember of last night.

There were several bite marks on my neck. Not quite hickeys, more like someone had tried to take a chunk out. Just painful, not sexy. I touched one gingerly. Throwing my hoodie back on, I wiggled my sore legs into the jeggings again and hung my towel up. The lights were still on in the living room, and I heard the hum on gentle conversation.

My stomach growled. I sighed and hit the elevator button. It let me off right by the kitchen and I snuck to the fridge. I fished around for a yogurt before shutting the doors as quietly as I could.

“Ai-chan!” a voice boomed behind me.

I spun around to find Tsubaki lunging at me. I sidestepped and frowned.

“Really, Tsuba-ni?”

He pouted before leaning against the fridge. “Natsume-ni is here. He came over earlier. Don’t you want to meet him?”

I debated just heading back to my room, but Tsubaki grabbed my arm and steered me to the couches. Ukyo, Kaname, Azusa, Louis, Masaomi, and who I assumed to be the Natsume sat there. The last one was a ginger. I waved weakly as Tsubaki let my arm go.

“Hey…”

“Hello,” Natsume stood, towering over me.

“Nice to meet you,” I bowed, fumbling with my yogurt.

“A pleasure for me, as well.”

“No need to be so stiff,” Azusa laughed.

“Sorry,” I started to back away.

“Where have you been all day?” Masaomi asked. “Were you sleeping?”

“Yeah, I stayed up too late last night,” I replied.

“What, playing video games?” Azusa said.

“You play videogames?” Natsume looked interested.

“No, that’s Ema-chan’s thing,” I waved my hand.

“Then what’s your thing?” Kaname asked.

“Oh, that’s easy,” came a voice from behind me. 

Fuck.

“But it’s not for delicate ears to hear,” Fuuto leaned on the back of the couch.

“Fuck off, Fuuto,” I muttered in English.

His eyes narrowed.

“It seems our little Ai-chan~”

“I dare you to say that one more time,” I glared.

“Prefers to be out all night in the red-light district.”

“Fuuto-chan!” Masaomi crossed his arms, “How can you say things like that?”

I crossed my arms defensively, “Excuse me?”

“Apologize,” Kaname demanded, “Apologize Fuuto-chan.”

“But its true,” Fuuto replied, gaze sharp, as he closed in, “Ask Ai-chan.”

“Ai-chan?” Ukyo spoke up. “Is this true?”

“I don’t know what he thinks he’s on about,” I said.

“Then explain this~” Fuuto yanked my hood back, exposing my neck and all the marks.

“Fuuto!” I shoved him away and pulled my hood back up, “You ass! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”

There were hands… hands everywhere. Choking, pulling, scratching. I covered my face, heart pounding. I couldn’t do this. Tears began to spill out, and I turned on my heel. I heard my name being called, but pushed open the door to the stairs and stumbled up. 

Great first impression, I thought. You look like a whore.

I hated Fuuto. I hated the man from last night. I hated myself.

I slammed my door shut and locked it. It would do little good if they had the master key still, but I didn’t care. I crawled under my blankets. I wanted to go home. Back to America. Away from Fuuto. Away from this family that didn’t want or need me.

I heard knocking.

I stayed quiet.

The handle jiggled.

“Ai-chan? Can you let us in?”

“No,” I mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear.

“Ai-chan, please open up. We need to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to hear it. I already know what you’ll say,” I replied, “Now please leave me alone.”

I heard muttering and the lock clicked.

Shit.

Footsteps made their way to my bed. I tightened my grip on the blankets around me.

“Ai-chan,” Masaomi’s voice was soothing, “Fuuto-chan shouldn’t have done that. He’s here to apologize.

“I don’t want him here. Tell him to go away.”

I could feel the tension in the air.

There was a soft, “Go” and receding footsteps.

“Ai-chan?”

I peeked out of my blankets to see Masaomi sitting on the bed. 

“What?” I asked.

“You seem upset. Do you need to talk about anything?”

I was quiet.

Masaomi waited.

“…There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Are you sure?” he pressed.

“I said I’m fine, dammit!” I shouted and disappeared under the covers.

“We’re not mad at you, Ai-chan,” Masaomi’s hands hovered over the blankets.

“Please just leave me alone,” I murmured.

Masaomi stood and lingered for a moment before sighing and heading out. Once he was gone, I locked the door and crawled back into the bed. 

The next day I stayed in my room until I had to work. I covered all the bruises with makeup even though it stung. The last thing I needed was someone from work poking their nose into my business. Ueno-san came up to me during my shift.

“How was your night off?” she asked cheerily.

“It was fine,” I shrugged, offering a tight smile.

“That’s good. You looked like you needed it.”

She then went into a detailed story about the stray cats she fed outside her house. I listened politely, nodding the whole time. When her tale was finished, I excused myself to finish my tasks. The night seemed longer than usual. By the time we closed down, I was ready to leave. I stopped by the twenty-four-hour convenience store and bought alcohol before I went home. I brought the case to my room where I turned on music and drank the bitter stuff until I felt numb. At some point I nodded off, sitting on the floor with my back against my bed. I was woken by knocking on my door. I had another headache and growled, tripping over empty bottles. 

“What?” I squinted at Yuusuke.

“Whoa! You reek!” he took a step back and waved a hand in front of his face.

“Sorry,” I murmured, “Did you need something?” 

“Breakfast is ready if you’re hungry.”

“I’ll be down in a sec,” I said and shut the door.

I stumbled to the closet and pulled out my largest hoodie. I slipped into it and left my room. Before hitting the dining room, I stopped by the bathroom to gargle mouthwash in an attempt to cover some of the smell of booze.

“Good morning ne-chan!” Wateru jumped up and hugged me as I sat next to him.

“Morning bud,” I said, not realizing I was speaking English. I missed his confused look as I nursed a cup of water.

“Long night at work?” Ema asked.

“Kinda,” I said, this time in the proper language.

Yuusuke wisely kept his mouth shut.

Ukyo placed a plate of eggs in front of me. I ate mechanically.

“Oh, Ema-chan,” Ukyo paused before entering the kitchen again, “Natsume left the demo for the new game on the counter for you.”

“Really! Thanks!” Ema clapped her hands.

It pissed me off to see her so happy for some reason. I glared at my food and poked at it. I’d rather it was wine. Fuuto was watching me from the other end of the table. I’d missed him on the way down, but now I felt my anxiety rise. I knew he was planning something, but I couldn’t figure out what. I excused myself from the table without finishing my food and took my plate to the sink. I saw something out of the corner of my eye while rinsing it and jumped. The plate slipped and shattered on the floor, Juli running from the kitchen.  
“Damn squirrel,” I muttered angrily as I grabbed a wet paper towel to clean up the mess.

“What happened?” Ukyo appeared beside me.

“Juli spooked me,” I explained, “I can pay for the plate. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I shrugged as I picked up the pieces and tossed them into the trash.

“You should wear gloves. You might cut your hands.”

“Doesn’t bother me,” I replied, right as I tossed the last piece in the trashcan. 

“If you say so,” Ukyo shrugged. “You have tonight off, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s nice. We’re ordering out tonight; what do you want?”

“I’ll just have whatever everyone else is having; I’m not picky,” I said.

“Alright.”

I shuffled out of the kitchen and into the elevator. As I stepped off, I noticed Fuuto standing in front of my door. I was getting pretty tired of this arrangement.

“What do you want?” I asked, standing a good six feet away.

“Can’t we just talk?” he said.

“You never want to just talk.” I crossed my arms.

“I get the feeling you don’t like me,” he closed the distance between us. 

I took a step back. “I don’t.”

“And why would that be? I’m just your sweet little brother.”

“You’re not sweet,” I replied, “You’re sadistic and a jackass.”

“Swearing doesn’t suit you.”

“Motherfucking cunt,” I spat at him, “Bitch ass fucking hoe.”

He smirked and grabbed my chin with one of his hands. I pulled away but he pushed me against a wall. 

“Say that again,” he purred.

“You’re a fucking douchebag.”

The air was suddenly lost from my lungs. I coughed, trying to double over while he held my face up.

“I said swearing doesn’t suit you.”

“Fuck… you…” I gasped.

The hand on my face let go only to drop down to my bound chest. I turned my head away and shivered. “Stop.”

“Oh? You seem to listen better this way,” Fuuto said and reached a hand under my shirt.

“Stop it! Please, Fuuto,” I swallowed, feeling the memories creep back. 

Hands roamed my stomach. I smacked them away.

“Stop it!” I shouted and shoved him away.

Fuuto took a step back before his aura turned dark. I pushed past him and fumbled with my door handle. I wanted this to stop. Fuuto snatched the key from my hand and turned it over in his palm. I reached to grab it back. He lifted it out of my reach and looked down at me.

“Beg for it,” he smiled.

“Give it back!” I snarled.

“Not until you beg.”

“Listen here you son of a~”

“Fuuto-chan? What are you doing?”

We both turned to see Kaname in his monk robes exiting his room.

“Just teasing Ai-chan,” he laughed easily and held the key out for me to take.

I snatched it and glanced and Kaname out of the corner of my eye. He looked confused as I shut the door and locked it.


	7. Nightmares

“Ai-chan!” Ema knocked on my door. “Do you wanna play the new demo with me?”

This was her third attempt to get me out of my room tonight. I wasn’t sure why she was so insistent on it. I’d refused dinner and her suggestion of a walk with her earlier. 

“No thanks. I’m busy,” I called back.

“Oh… okay. By the way…”

What was it now?

“About earlier, with Juli,” she stammered.

Oh. Was she feeling guilty?

“It’s fine. He just surprised me is all.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s fine Ema,” I laughed dryly, “It’s not like I was hurt.”

“If you say so. Juli’s been feeling pretty guilty.”

He’s a squirrel. He can’t be feeling that guilty.

“It’s fine,” I said for the millionth time.

“If you say so,” she conceded and left.

I sighed and leaned back on my bed. I was getting tired of being cooped up in my room. The sunshine was streaming through my window. I moved so I was sitting on the floor in its light. I sipped on the leftover alcohol and felt my lids grow heavy from the warmth and liquor. I nodded off. When I woke, it was to someone’s hand on my shoulder. I instinctively shoved them away as I sat up, heart racing. 

“I brought you dinner.”

Kaname.

I stared at him for a second, blinking the sleep out of my eyes. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

“How did you get in?” I asked poking at the food.

“It was unlocked.”

I could’ve sworn I’d locked it. I shrugged and picked up a dumpling, shoving the entire thing into my mouth like a pig. Kaname’s lips tugged upward. I glared at him.

“What’s so funny?” I wiped my mouth.

“Nothing,” he coughed. His eyes lingered on the yellowing bruises on my neck and his face grew solemn.

“Quit staring,” I growled.

“Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck and looked out the dark window. 

There was a long silence.

“Ai-chan…”

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You can, doesn’t mean I’ll answer it.”

“That’s fair…” he paused. “Were you… why did you hook up?”

I choked on my food and reached for something to clear my throat. My hand closed around the sake bottle from earlier. Kaname held out a water bottle instead. I grudgingly took it and washed down the offending particle of food. 

“It’s none of your business,” I finally said, less forcefully than I intended.

“None of us are mad at you,” he rushed to fill the silence, “We just… were surprised.”

“Why?” I spat, full of venom, “Because Ema-chan never does anything wrong and you’re not used to someone who’s real?”

“It’s not about comparing you to Ema-chan,” he said, “We just want you to be careful.”

“I’m fine,” I pushed to food away and crossed my arms. Tears started coming to my eyes unbidden and I scrubbed them away. Dammit! Why now?

Kaname looked alarmed.

“What’s wrong?” he didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands. They hovered above my shoulders.

“Nothing’s wrong!” I wrapped my arms around myself, steeling my voice.

“But then why are you crying?” he wrung his hands.

“I’m not!” I said, tears still on my cheeks.

Kaname deadpanned and raised his brows. I stood, swaying a little from dehydration, and sat on my bed, looking away.

“Ai-chan, you don’t have to be okay all the time y’know.”

I risked a glance at his face. His eyes were sincere as he looked at me. I bit my lip and tucked my legs under me. 

“I’m… fine. Really. I am.”

I knew he didn’t believe me.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. You were upset last night too when Fuuto brought it up.”

The memories resurfaced and I could feel hands on my sides. I shivered and rubbed my hands over the ghost-feeling. Kaname was watching still.

“I was drunk,” I finally said.

His cheeks tinged pink for a moment before he cleared his throat.

“Ah, so you made a bad decision?” he offered.

“Sort of?” I paused. “I… I didn’t want to do it but I did anyway. I was… feeling numb.”

“Numb? Why?” Kaname asked.

“It’s what alcohol does,” I replied shrugging.

“Why were you drinking in the first place?” he asked.

“To get buzzed and forget about problems like everyone else,” I laughed cynically. 

“Problems?”

I shut my mouth and looked away. Too much had slipped out already.

“What kind of problems?” Kaname prompted me.

“None of your business,” I snapped.

He grew quiet. I felt a little guilty but crossed my arms and fixed my eyes on the floor.

“You know you can talk to me if you ever need to, right?”

I shifted my gaze and nodded my head. 

“Well… I’ll be going then,” he said and picked up the plate.

“Thanks for the food,” I said. 

He offered a small smile and shut the door behind him. I fell back onto the bed and felt the tug of old memories. 

A hospital. The phone call that was never answered. My first boyfriend.

I hugged my teddy bear to my chest.

Breakup. Bedbugs. Disappointment.

I sat up and tossed my pillow to the side.

A rough hand. A 2006 jeep. A used condom.

I grabbed a stuffed animal and threw it into the opposite wall, face etched with anger. I grabbed the bottle off the floor and slammed the remainder of the alcohol, coughing as it burned. Tears streamed down my face, both from the burning in my throat and the pain in my chest. I curled up on my bed and pulled the covers over my head. 

My legs felt heavy as I tried to walk. I was back home in America. I recognized my house and tried to run. My steps only slowed and it grew farther away. 

“No!” I yelled, “Come back!”

I felt something behind me and turned. It was a dark shape. It slowly morphed into a humanoid shape. 

“Ai-chan,” came Kaname’s voice.

I faced forward again and saw him in front of me.

“Don’t come closer!” I cried.

The thing behind me flashed past me and obscured Kaname from view. There was a cry and I looked down. Blood covered my hands and pooled at my feet.

I sat up, gasping. 

Looking around, I found myself in my room at the Asahina residence. I took a shaky breath and glanced at the clock.

It was a little after one in the morning. I stumbled out of bed and to my door. Opening it, I felt my way down the hallway to Kaname’s door. I crept in and stood over his sleeping form.

He’s okay, I breathed.

I reached out a hand to shake him awake, but pulled back. I turned to leave. Something grabbed my sleeve. I twisted around to see Kaname’s eyes half-lidded with sleep.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, a little slurred.

“I just… had a bad dream,” I said.

“Wanna talk about it?” he offered, sitting up and revealing his naked chest.

“No,” I shook my head, “I’m fine. Just…”

“Just what?” he said.

“Just had to make sure you were okay,” I said and shivered.

Kaname pulled his blankets back and patted the bed.

“You’re welcome to stay with me tonight.”

I debated the offer. It would be nice to sleep with Kaname…

I climbed in next to him and curled up. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. I felt my heartbeat quicken. 

He was _jacked_.

“Do you work out?” I whispered.

“Why? Impressed?” he smirked sleepily.

“Kinda,” I said, yawning.

I missed the blush he sported in the dark.

“Goodnight,” I murmured.

“Goodnight,” he replied, nestling his nose in my hair.


	8. Yuusuke

Kaname’s POV

The morning came softly, almost as soft as Ai’s skin. I caressed her sleeping form, reveling in the delicacy of her body. It might look one way on the outside, but it was both strong and yet fragile. I buried my nose in her sweet-smelling hair and took a deep breath. It smelled of coconut and roses, with a slightly stronger scent that I couldn’t identify, but I knew I’d smelled it before in some men’s products. 

Ai shifted and moved closer to my chest. I draped my arm across her side and allowed my fingertips to brush her back. She sighed, a soft, high note. 

So cute, I thought.

I glanced at the clock and glared. It was time to get up, but I didn’t want to move. Instead of indulging in my position, I carefully slid my arm out from underneath Ai’s head and sat up. Without warning, my morning alarm on my phone went off. I scrambled off the bed and to the dresser, wearing nothing more than my boxers. I silenced the alarm, but not before Ai sat up, looking disoriented. Her clothes were rumpled and one side of her shirt had slipped off her shoulder to reveal pale skin. 

“Sorry about that,” I said sheepishly, “I forgot to turn it off.”

“’S okay,” she replied, rubbing her eyes.

I stretched and tossed the phone back onto the dresser, turning to Ai. Her face was dusted with a harsh blush. I looked down at myself and felt my own cheeks heat up.

“I don’t normally sleep in pajamas,” I said hurriedly as I dug through my dresser drawers for a pair of sweatpants.

“You’re fine; I did barge in on you last night.”

“You’re more than welcome to come any night you want,” I told her.

“Thanks,” she kept her eyes on the bedsheets as I pulled one leg into the pants.

“Breakfast should be ready soon. You hungry?”

“Yeah,” she said, eyes still downcast.

Her white and blue hair hung over her eyes, in need of a trim. I brushed them away to reveal hazel eyes much like my own.

“Heh, you need a haircut,” I smirked.

“I haven’t had a chance to get it done,” Ai said, averting her captivating muddy green eyes.

“Louis-ne could always do it for you.”

“I’ll ask him later,” she pulled away from my hand, face burning bright.

I felt my own blush appear as I stepped back to my dresser to find a shirt. I heard a shuffling behind me. I turned, pulling my shirt over my head as I did so. I paused to take in the scene. Ai’s form was stretched out over my bed, tucking the sheets in, her backside facing me. I appreciated the view a little too much it seemed, as she caught me staring at her. 

“What?”

“N-nothing,” I waved my hand and turned to fiddle with my phone, “We should head down to breakfast.

Ai’s POV

We made our way downstairs and were greeted with the smell of frying bacon. I pumped my fist in jubilation. Back in America I’d had bacon weekly; here it was a treat. 

I sat in my seat at the table, noticing Ema and Yuusuke huddled together poring over a textbook. It looked like Math. I couldn’t help them with that. Fuuto shuffled down the stairs, looking irritable. Good. I hope he didn’t sleep last night.

Ukyo set my plate in front of me and I thanked him before digging in. I glanced at the clock and cursed before shoveling the food in at an alarming rate.

“What’s the matter Ai-chan?” Iori asked me.

“I forgot I have an appointment at nine.”

“Oh? Where at?” Ukyo asked.

“The tattoo parlor.”

There was a momentary silence before the noises of breakfast continued. I brought my plate to the sink and rinsed it in a hurry. I dashed up to my room and grabbed my wallet. I was in the lobby by the front doors when I heard someone call my name.

“Ai-ne!”

I turned to see Yuusuke, red-faced.

“Yeah?”

“Can I… can I come with you?”

I blinked. Was the aloof and tsundere Yuusuke asking to join me on a trip to the tattoo parlor?

“Won’t Ukyo get mad?” I asked.

“He doesn’t have to know. Besides, I’m eighteen now.”

I shrugged and grinned. “Fine by me then.”

He followed behind me awkwardly. I turned to face him.

“You do know you don’t have to follow me like a creepy stalker, right?”

His face reddened and he moved to walk beside me. In about ten minutes we reached our destination. Yuusuke followed me like an obedient puppy as I checked in and headed to where Hana-san was setting up for our appointment. There were dividers painted with cherry blossoms set up to block her station from the view of other customers. 

“Good morning Hana-san,” I waved cheerily.

“Good morning, Ai-chan,” she smiled, “Who is this?”

“This is Yuusuke-kun, my younger brother,” I replied. “He wanted to tag along. I hope that’s okay with you.”

“It’s fine. However, Yuusuke-kun,” she turned to him, “If you wouldn’t mind stepping away for a moment so Ai-chan can disrobe.”

Yuusuke’s blush spread to his ears as he turned and walked away. Hana-san and I shared a laugh as I tugged my pants off and lay down on the table with a towel covering my waist and rear, calves exposed. 

“You can come back now, Yuusuke-kun,” I called, sitting with my chin on my arms.

He sat near my head and we made small talk while Hana-san prepared my skin.

“Does it hurt?” he asked.

“It’s mostly annoying,” I told him, “But this one is gonna hurt more because it goes into the back of the knee crease.”

He winced.

“How long does it take?”

“This one will probably be about two hours,” Hana said.

“It’s just part of the geometrical lines I’ve got going on,” I told Yuusuke. “You don’t have to stay the whole time if you don’t want to.”

“Actually…” he scratched the back of his neck, “Don’t tell the others, but I want to get a tattoo.”

“I thought only members of Yakuza in Japan got tattoos?”

“It’s gotten more common,” Yuusuke said, “Not a lot, but a little. And I really want a dragon on my back.”

“That’s cool. It’ll probably be pretty expensive though,” I nodded.

Hana started to ink the lines into my leg. I tried to relax, but my leg started twitching.

“Sorry, Hana-san.”

“It’s fine,” she waved a hand.

Yuusuke moved to see what was happening on my legs. I focused on my breathing as she lined nearer to the back of my knee. Yuusuke watched in fascination.

“Yuusuke?” I asked after half an hour.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to make an appointment?”

“What?”

I craned my neck to look at him.

“You can make an appointment to plan out the design you want. I’ll even pay your deposit fee.”

His face morphed into one of surprise. “You’d do that?”

“Why not?” I laughed, “You are my little brother; it’s the least I can do.”

“Th-thanks,” he mumbled.

“Just go up to the counter and ask to schedule a consultation,” I said.

While he was gone, Hana-san looked over to me.

“That was nice.”

“If it means building a relationship, I’ll do it. The kid barely talks to me. He’s nice though,” I replied. 

Yuusuke’s head popped back into view as Hana moved to the back of my knee. 

“BITCH!” I screamed in English and slapped my hand onto the table.

Yuusuke jumped.

“Sorry,” I said sheepishly as I tensed and relaxed. “This is the hard part.”

“You’re good,” Yuusuke said, “I scheduled the appointment for right after school next week.”

“Good thinking,” I nodded, “You can just tell Ukyo you got held up at school.”

I slammed my hand into the table again and let out a heavy breath.

“Almost done,” Hana said, “About twenty more minutes.”

“Twenty more minutes of agony,” I sighed.

“If you hate it so much why do you do it?” Yuusuke sat by my head again.

“I like the way it looks when its done,” I said. And it distracts me from my problems.

Half an hour later Yuusuke and I were headed home. Me with a newly wrapped tattoo on either leg, he with an appointment. 

“Wanna grab ice-cream?” I pointed to the convenience store.

“Sure.”

He grabbed a blue popsicle and I got one of those cones that were dipped in chocolate and nuts. I insisted on paying for both and we sat outside on a bench and ate them.

“You know, it was fun today,” I said, “Even if we didn’t do much; I liked spending time with you.”

“I… didn’t mind it,” Yuusuke said shrugging.

“That’s good,” I laughed. “Should we head back?”


	9. Stalker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll! Not really, just bored with quarantine. You're welcome.

I sighed and smacked my legs. The itching was getting bad again. I tried to distract myself by playing a game on my phone. My mind began to wander. 

My birthday was tomorrow. I wondered if anyone even knew when it was. Did Rintarou even know? I never told him. I bit my lip. Best to not bring it up. It would just sound selfish.  
I sat up and slapped my legs vigorously. The itching was unbearable. I decided to go for a walk. I stopped by the convenience store and bought a popsicle. I was trying to watch my weight. It had gone up since I started drinking regularly. I didn’t have a beer belly at least. I’d just put on five or ten pounds. Which from where I’d been, wasn’t good. I was about 5’4” and carried weight well, except for my stomach and thighs. I’d developed a small tummy which I often covered with sweatshirts. I was trying to get more active and cut back on my drinking. It was easy though, being in Japan and getting booze. The legal age here was eighteen. 

I tossed my wrapper into the garbage can and headed back to the apartment complex. The itching had subsided during my walk, but was back with vengeance now. I slapped my calves and growled. It was so annoying. I hopped on the elevator and rode it up to the common area. Upon stepping off, I noticed Ukyo at the table with his laptop and papers spread around. Sometimes I forgot he was a lawyer with all the meal prep he did. He was better suited to be a cook in my opinion.

“Hey,” I waved and plopped on the couch next to Ema and Yuusuke, who were both watching a show. I settled back and snuggled into the couch, pulling the blanket off the back and covering myself up to my chin. I drifted off to the soft hum of the television. 

I slept through dinner and most of the night, waking up around two in the morning to fetch a glass of water and move to my room. I slept another five hours to wake up a little before eight. I had a crick in my neck which I tried rolling out. Upon pulling open my dresser drawers, I paused. It was my birthday, should I dress up? I shook my head and pulled out a regular bra. I’d just skip my binder today. I forgot what having boobs was like sometimes. I spent a good ten minutes checking myself out in the mirror. I only stopped because Yuusuke knocked on my door, telling me breakfast was ready. I threw on a long-sleeved shirt and skinny jeans and hooked a choker around my neck. 

I pattered down the stairs to the breakfast table and picked at my fingernails nervously. Tsubaki was the first to speak.

“You look nice today.”

“Thanks,” I tugged my hair consciously. “Hey, Louis-ni?”

“Yeah, Ai-chan?” 

“Can I possibly get you to cut my hair later?”

“Sure, I can, like, totally do that,” Louis smiled, his eyes closing.

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“We can like, do it after breakfast?” he asked.

“Sure.”

Ukyo placed my food in front of me and I ate. It was just regular, plain eggs today. I sighed. Not my favorite but I wasn’t going to complain. I washed down the slightly dry scrambled eggs with water and stood. I dropped my dishes off in the sink and said good morning to Kaname, who was getting coffee.

“You’re not wearing your binder?” he asked, surprised.

“No,” I looked away.

“Why not?”

“Didn’t feel like it today,” I said.

“Well, you look nice,” he smiled and patted my head.

I swatted his hand away and growled playfully, “Hey!”

“You don’t work today, right?” Ukyo said.

“Nope, I’m off,” I said and stretched.

“Hey, Ai-chan?” Louis called.

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready to do your hair whenever you’re ready.”

“I’ll be right there,” I said and rinsed my dishes, putting them into the dishwasher.

Louis had a chair set up in the common area. He threw the cape around my shoulders and fastened before going to work with his scissors and buzzer. He straightened up my undercut and trimmed my hair.

“If you don’t mind, like,” he said, “I’m gonna curl it.”

“Sure, you do whatever you want Louis,” I laughed.

Half an hour later my head was curled and I resembled a k-pop idol. I shook my head. 

“It feels bouncy,” I told him.

“It is.”

“Thanks Louis,” I hugged him.

I helped him sweep up the hair and put everything away. My phone started to ring.

“Hello?” 

“Ai-chan?” Ueno-san’s voice responded.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“I’m awfully sorry to ask this on your day off, but can you come in and work? Jinji-san is sick and can’t work her shift.”

I drew in a deep breath. “What was her shift?”

“It’s a ten to close.”

I sighed away from the phone speaker. Well, not like I had any plans anyway.

“Sure, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes.”

“Thank you Ai-chan!”

I hung up and groaned.

“What’s wrong, Ai-chan?” Louis asked.

“I got called into work.”

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Louis frowned.

“It’s not the end of the world,” I replied and headed upstairs to get changed into my work uniform.

By the time I got to work, it was swamped and I threw myself into the chaos. It wasn’t terrible, except for a group of rowdy teenagers who spilt their drinks over half the lobby. I assured them it was fine (while cursing them in my head) and mopped it up. Around seven o’clock things started to slow down. 

I seated a man somewhere in his mid-to-late twenties and took his order. When I brought it out, he was staring at me.

“And here’s your food,” I set his plate down.

“Excuse me, if you don’t mind my asking,” he said, grabbing hold of my arm, “But how old are you?”

I paused, “I’m nineteen.”

“Can I ask if you’re married?” he loosened his grip slightly.

“I’m not,” I said and pulled my arm from his grasp.

“You’re very pretty, are you a foreigner?”

“I’m from America,” I told him, “Can I get you anything else?”

“Would you be interested in getting coffee sometime?” he asked.

“Thank you for the offer,” I smiled, “But I’ll have to decline.”

The man frowned. 

“Why not? I’ll make sure you have a good time.”

“I’m not interested, thank you,” I told him.

“Why don’t you want to go out with me?” he demanded.

“Sir,” I straightened, “I’m gay.” With that, I turned and headed back to the kitchen. Ueno-san stopped me just inside the door.

“What was that man wanting?” she asked.

“He wanted me to go out with him,” I said, “But I told him I’m gay. Which isn’t technically a lie, because I’m bi.”

Ueno-san laughed and patted my back. “I’ll have Kuro-san take care of him. You can just swap a table with him.”

“Thanks,” I nodded. 

The rest of the evening I felt eyes on me whenever I went into the lobby to serve customers. The man from earlier was watching my every move. When we closed at nine thirty, he left without tipping Kuro. I sighed once he was gone and locked the doors. It had started raining at some point during my shift and I didn’t have an umbrella.

“I wish I had a spare to give you,” Ueno-san fretted.

“I’ll be fine,” I laughed, “A little rain won’t hurt me.”

“Be safe!” she called after me as I headed home. 

The air was slightly warm, enough to take the chill out of the rain, but not enough to make it comfortable. I hurried through the streets in the dark, hoping it would let up. I turned to look behind me. I couldn’t see anything in the rain, but I swore I felt someone following me. 

I headed towards the main street where there were more lights and cars. I could feel eyes on my back. The walk back was nerve wracking. I stopped in a store for a minute to get out of the rain, but they were closing up, so they had to shoo me out after a few minutes. Back in the rain I felt the lingering presence again. I hurried my gait until I saw the familiar apartment complex. I let out a breath of relief. It was too soon.

A hand grabbed my arm and yanked me into a small alleyway. I immediately began pulling and kicking.

“Let me go!” I screamed.

There was a blow to my face. I tasted blood and my lip burned. I looked up to see the man from work.

“What do you want?” I spat.

“You don’t like women,” he leered, “You just haven’t met the right man yet.”

“I told you; I’m gay!” I said and yanked my arm out of his grasp. 

He grabbed a fistful of my short hair and pulled my head towards him.

“I asked nicely earlier and you said no. Now I’m not going to be nice,” he snarled.

He shoved me down to the wet pavement and put one foot on my left arm, forcing me to lie on my stomach. I struggled, only to receive a harsh smack on my rear. I felt tears of indignation and rage. I turned my body around and shoved his foot off my arm, tearing my head from his grip. I left curly blue strands of hair in his grip. I booked it for the apartment, fishing my keys out as I ran. I stabbed the keys into the lock frantically as I heard footsteps behind me. I got the door open and stepped inside, trying to slam it behind me. I felt a hand in my hair again. My neck nearly snapped as he yanked my head back. My leg got caught in the door as it shut and was ripped out as he pulled me by my hair back outside. 

“Ukyo! Kaname! Masaomi!” I screamed, “Someone! Yuusuke! Iori! Tsubaki! Azu~” 

There was a harsh slap across my face.

“Shut up and stop screaming!” he spat.

This is the worst birthday ever, I thought as blood pooled in my mouth.

“Hey!”

I turned my head to the familiar voice.

“Masaomi!” my voice quivered.

The man let go of my hair and fled. Masaomi was next to me in a second.

“Are you okay?” he asked, placing a comforting hand around my shoulders.

“I’m… I’m fine,” I replied, my whole body shaking.

“Let’s get you inside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perks of being bi: you can tell unwanted men that you're gay! I have use this tactic before. Hope you all enjoyed this chapter.


	10. New Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters gonna be a little shorter than the others; sorry!

Once we were inside the building, Masaomi put his coat over my shoulders. He was quiet on the elevator ride. We got off at the kitchen, heading from there to the common area. There was a soft buzz of conversation in the main area which died down as we entered.

“Ai! What happened to you?” Kaname jumped up off the couch where he sat in his monk robes.

“It’s nothing,” I waved a shaky hand, “I’m fine.”

“You’re bleeding,” Azusa crossed his arms. Subaru peered from behind him.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I wiped blood from my nose with the back of my hand. The tear-tracks on my face betrayed my words.

“You’re not fine,” Masaomi said firmly as he pulled out a medical kit. “Sit down.”

I obeyed and pulled his jacket tighter around me.

“What happened?” Ukyo asked taking his glasses off.

I was quiet for a minute, debating on telling them exactly what happened. I decided on the abridged version.

“There was a guy who followed me home from work.”

Everyone waited apprehensively.

“And?” Tsubaki gestured for me to continue.

“That’s… that’s it.”

“That doesn’t explain this,” Ukyo looked me up and down.

“And it doesn’t explain what I saw outside,” Masaomi blotted my lip with a cotton ball soaked in antiseptic.

I winced.

“It looked like more than just following you home,” he said, his normally soft eyes hard.

“Okay, so he harassed me a little,” I shrugged, “Not like it hasn’t happened before.”

There was murmuring around the circle.

“You shouldn’t be walking alone at night,” Kaname crossed his arms, “It’s too dangerous.”

“What happened Masaomi?” Ukyo mirrored Kaname.

Masaomi’s eyes softened as he looked down at me, my eyes on the floor, and back up to his younger brother.

“Why don’t we wait to talk about it until later,” he suggested.

“Thank you,” I said and stood, “I’m going to bed.”

I handed Masaomi his coat back.

“Good night everyone,” I said.

Tsubaki put his arms around me and gave me a gentle squeeze.

“Good night Ai-chan,” Ukyo nodded.

I shuffled up the stairs to the balcony and started to head for the elevator, but paused to listen to the conversation below.

“So, what actually happened, Masaomi?” Subaru’s voice carried up to where I was.

I stood at the entrance of the hallway, curiosity getting the better of me. How much had Masaomi seen?

“I had to work late tonight, so I was coming home when I saw a commotion by the front entrance. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but I saw that it was getting violent. I was going to call the police when I heard my name called. I realized it was Ai-chan and hurried over. The man was dragging her from the door by her hair. He slapped her and was shouting at her to be quiet. He ran off when he saw me.”

“When I find that bastard~” Kaname started.

“I’ll file a harassment report with the police later and they can find him,” Ukyo interrupted. 

“Until he’s found, it would be best if Ai-chan didn’t go out by herself,” Masaomi said.

“I can take her to work in the evenings,” Azusa offered.

“And I can pick her up after her shifts,” Ukyo said.

I frowned. I was scared, but I didn’t want to be babysat. I headed to my room. I’d deal with them tomorrow. So much for a nice birthday.

Morning came and I tottered my way down to breakfast. Wateru ran over to me.

“Onee-chan! What happened to your face?” he asked, clinging to my clothes.

“Oh my god, Ai!” Ema stood, “Your face!”

Yuusuke jumped up as well.

“Who did that to you? I’ll knock them down a peg!”

“It’s fine, guys,” I waved Wateru off gently. 

Fuuto was glaring in my direction. I couldn’t tell you why, he just was.

“Seriously, though, what happened?” Yuusuke asked.

“This guy followed me home last night and wouldn’t leave me alone,” I said and fiddled with my fork.

“Bastard! I’ll find him and~” 

“No, Yuusuke,” I said firmly, “It’s okay. You don’t need to worry about it. I can handle it.”

He sank back into his seat with a discontented growl. 

“Does it hurt Ai onee-chan?” Water asked.

“This?” I brushed my fingers across my split lip.

“No, your eye,” he said.

I gingerly touched the bruise under my right eye.

“A little,” I admitted, “It’s not as bad as it could be.”

“Do you work today?” Ukyo asked as he set a plate in front of me.

“No.”

“Let us know if you’re going out,” he told me. “I’ve filed a police report for last night but I’d feel better if you take someone with you if you go out.”

I sighed and agreed, pouting as I ate my eggs. I would find some way around taking people with me everywhere. I stabbed a piece of egg and shoved it into my mouth. My mind wandered to yesterday. It was a shit birthday. Maybe today would be better.

Scratch that.

Today _would_ be better. I was going to go out.


	11. Romeo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys: I know its been awhile. Here's the next chapter. WARNING: Lime. Also: Ai does not use healthy coping mechanisms.

I took all my spare spending cash and shoved it into the pockets of my jeans. They were a dark wash, hugging my legs as I pulled a sweatshirt over my fitted shirt with a sweetheart neckline. I opened my window and stepped onto the ledge, letting myself down with the sheets I’d tied together earlier. I didn’t want to risk getting caught on my way out through the front. The last thing I needed was to be chewed out by Ukyo and Masaomi. Especially after they just said not to go out alone. I had my pepper spray at least; so I should be fine. I didn’t feel comfortable being chaperoned by overprotective men constantly.

I wanted to go somewhere other than a bar tonight, but still somewhere with alcohol. I scrolled through google search and came across a few options. My lip quirked at the first link and I clicked on it. It seemed entertaining. I switched over to google maps and found myself on the train headed towards the center of downtown. 

An hour later I was pulling out my ID for the bouncer to inspect. He grunted and waved me inside. Once inside I settled into a chair at the bar and ordered something mild. I turned my head to the stage and watched the women on stage spinning around on the pole. Unlike men, it didn’t actually excite me (I was more into the butch lesbians), but the performance always stunned me. I had taken a few classes before I left America, but I was definitely rusty.

I sipped on my drink and contemplated getting something stronger. I knew I’d be getting a lecture from one of the older brothers if they ever found out about this, but I didn’t really care. As far as I knew none of them were alcoholics. Unfortunately, I knew my mom’s side was prone to alcoholism. And drug abuse. And cancer. So yeah, that side of my family is pretty fucked up. Which explains a lot about me.

I slammed the rest of my drink and jumped off the bar stool. I wanted to get closer to the stage. There was an attractive female dancing there. Looking around, I found I was surrounded by men. As soon as the dance ended there was a shower of bills. I hung around the stage as a voice buzzed over the speakers, saying something indistinct over the music still playing. I noticed the men melt away to be replaced by the women hanging back at the bar and booths. 

The lights on the stage flashed red and pink. Fog surrounded the buff man who sauntered onto stage. I threw a few bills on the stage as he swung around the pole, but wasn’t really into it. His dance ended and another male of similar build followed. I frowned. These guys were jacked, but for some reason it didn’t appeal to me. Maybe it was their faces. I almost left as the next song started up and another male approached the stage. I almost gave myself whiplash turning around to inspect him better. My mouth went dry. Now _this_ guy was attractive.

He was slender but toned, with pale skin and dark hair. He wore stripper heels and a sultry smirk. A few men had joined the crowd, I noticed before turning my eyes back to the stage. I bit my lip, watching him pull his loose sleeveless shirt off to reveal creamy abs above his black booty shorts. His routine was flawless, and the expressions he made were downright sinful. He hopped off the pole and crawled to where the crowd was. I had a front row seat to him body rolling on his knees. I threw a twenty in his direction. His eyes flickered to me for a second before continuing their roving of the crowd. I felt as if I’d been blessed in that moment. The dance was over too soon and I watched him stride off stage with a swing to his hips that made my little bi heart fall. He was probably gay. With a sigh, I found my way to the bar.

“How do I purchase a lap dance?” I asked, only slightly tipsy.

“Who do you want?” the barkeeper asked.

“The guy who was just up there. I missed his name.”

“Oh, you mean Romeo. I’ll get you set up.”

Ten minutes later I was in a private suite waiting anxiously after taking two shots of tequila. The barkeeper talked me into one of the more expensive packages. Private, thirty minutes. I was starting to regret my decision when Romeo sauntered in. I didn’t know how to react, so I offered a weak wave. He smirked. God that was hot.

“First lap dance?” he asked.

I nodded mutely.

“You’ll be fine.”

He started some music and dropped seductively to the ground in a plie, before turning and straightening, ass first. I kept my hands firmly grasping the sides of the chair I sat on. He waltzed around the chair, threw a leg over my shoulder to rest on the back of the chair, and gyrated his body. I felt my face heat. He switched to straddling my body and rocking in a smooth rhythm. 

“You can touch,” he offered, not wiping the smirk from his face.

I lifted my hands to hover over his sides. It felt like there was an invisible barrier keeping me from touching him, but in reality, it was only my mind. Suddenly I remembered Kaname’s hands hovering over my shoulders, refusing to touch me. His face flashed before my eyes. 

Why do I feel guilty? Its not like we’re dating. He’s not even interested in me, I thought.

With something akin to hurt and anger, I placed my hands on Romeo’s hips and ran my hands up his sides. I couldn’t tell if it was my imagination, but he seemed to shiver under my touch. I moved my hands to reach his back, to feel the hard muscle and smooth skin. 

The music ended and Romeo stood, his face flushed from exertion. I quickly put my hands down and looked away.

“Thank you,” I said, voice catching.

His smirk was gone, replaced with a curious look.

“No problem. I normally get creepy old men or really handsy girls, so it was nice. Probably the best dance I’ve given in a while.”

I bit my lip and kept my eyes on my lap.

“Hey,” he leaned over and put a hand under my chin. “You okay?”

I tried to look anywhere but his eyes. They were so intense. 

“Yeah, just… anxious? I’m not sure. I probably need to get home,” I replied.

“What, you got a curfew?” he asked, smirk returning.

“No…”

“Then stay,” he offered, placing a hand on the chair next to my head. “You look like you need a distraction from something.”

“Yeah, life,” I laughed dryly.

“I can give you one, if you like,” his face came dangerously close to mine.

“I can’t afford another dance, sorry,” I smiled apologetically.

“I wasn’t asking you to get one. If you hang around for another half hour I’ll be getting off work.”

I blinked, trying to understand what he was getting at.

“You… wanna hang out?” I said.

“Something like that,” his breath was hot on my ear.

“B-but… aren’t you gay?” I stammered.

He pulled back and laughed.

“Bi, actually.”

I felt a laugh come up, “Same.”

“Wanna crash at my place?” he offered, “It’s not too far from here.”

“Sure,” I said and stood.

I waited at the bar, scrolling through my phone and drinking a margarita. Surprisingly there were no texts or calls from Ukyo or Masaomi. They must not have found out I left. My phone dinged and I headed outside to meet Romeo. His apartment was four blocks away, which was almost too far for my slightly drunk ass. Romeo kept up light conversation until we got inside. I sank onto his couch and sighed. His apartment was nice. It made me think of my last fling.

“Hey,” he sat next to me. “You look kinda tense. Can I get you something?”

I rubbed my arm.

“Just the last time I was with a guy he kinda… he was just an ass and kicked me out right after he was done with me.”

“That won’t happen,” he traced my lips with his thumb. 

“Do you have any wine?” I asked, “I could probably use a drink.”

“Yeah, hang on.”

He returned and poured me a glass. He swirled his own and sipped it. I guzzled mine and held out my glass for more. He raised a brow but obliged.

“Sorry, I’m not good in new situations. Alcohol helps me loosen up.”

He nodded. I felt the familiar buzz after about ten minutes and another glass. My tension started to melt away.

“Feeling better?” Romeo asked, setting his glass down.

“Yeah,” I said and leaned against him.

He looked down at me and kissed my forehead. I sighed contentedly and looked up at him. He met my gaze before flickering his eyes down to my lips. I leaned forward and closed the gap, our lips meeting. His lips were soft and gentle, his hands moving to rest on each side of my face. I dug my fingers into his shirt as if it was my lifeline. Instead of the usual numb feeling I got when kissing someone, I felt a little thrill of excitement. I pulled back for a breath and felt dazed. Looking up, Romeo had a similar expression. I chalked it up to the alcohol. He pulled me up by my hand and led me to his room. He pressed me into his bed with a hungry kiss. I tugged on his hair as he kissed my neck. His fingers danced across my stomach and pulled my shirt over my head. Things started to blur together as things got heated. Hands rubbed up and down my sides, finger ran through my hair. The world fell away.

I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. Who was calling this early in the morning? I buried myself deeper in the blankets. I heard someone roll over and grab the phone. 

“Hello?” Romeo’s groggy voice answered.

That’s right: I was in a stripper’s bed.

“Who is this? Where is Ai?”

I bolted upright. Romeo blinked and looked down at the phone he’d answered. I recognized my case and felt my stomach drop.

“Ai?” he wrinkled his brow before turning to me. A lightbulb went off. “Oh, she’s right here.”

“Why did you answer my phone?” I hissed.

“I thought it was mine! We have the same ringtone!” he hissed back.

“Who are you?” the voice came through the speaker.

I grabbed the phone from him.

“This is Ai.”

“Ai! Where are you? Who are you with?”

“Sorry Ukyo, I’m… at a friend’s house.”

“At eight in the morning?”

“I didn’t want you guys following me around,” I frowned.

“Its for your safety! Who is this friend?”

“Um, his name is Romeo~”

“It’s a guy?!” came another voice from the phone.

“Tsubaki; stay out of this!” I growled.

“Where are you? I’ll come get you. You should be home.”

“I don’t have to be anywhere today. I’ll be home later. I don’t need a baby sitter,” I said firmly.

Romeo was watching the entire exchange with a bemused look.

“Well, we’re all worried sick. You need to tell us when you go out.”

“I’m sorry Ukyo-san. I’ll leave a note next time.”

“Or text us. By the way; who is this Romeo-kun?”

Oh boy. I could not tell Ukyo he was a stripper.

“I met him at work.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about him?”

“You guys freak out over everything; why would I tell you?” I sighed.

“We just want you safe! Can you at least tell me where you are?”

“I’m downtown in the high-rise apartments.”

“Which one?”

“None of your business. Goodbye.”

I hung up the phone and rubbed my eyes, a headache starting to form. Romeo looked amused.

“Not a word,” I threatened and sunk back into the bed.

“Friend of yours?” he asked.

“Brothers,” I mumbled.

“They sound worried.”

“They’ll be fine. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“Can you?” he smirked and hugged me from behind.

I turned to face him.

“You’re the first guy I’ve been with who’s been this affectionate,” I said and brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“It comes from being emotionally starved,” he winked and buried his nose in my neck.

I giggled and wrapped my arms around him. I felt a little guilty for some reason, but it quickly faded as I sat up and stretched. I realized suddenly that I was in my birthday suit and covered myself.

“Hey, its not like I didn’t see you last night,” Romeo smiled.

“Yeah, but it was dark.”

“So?” he leaned over me and hugged me.

“I’m just self-conscious,” I replied, shrugging. 

“Hey, you hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, pulled the sheets around my shoulders.

“Here,” he handed me one of his shirts. 

I put it on and it came to just below my butt. I shimmied into my underwear and followed him to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo… my therapist is reading this cause she knows its my coping fic. So Erin; if you get this far; I'm sorry, and also, "hi".


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